I'm going to keep this post relatively brief as I want it to be less space filling and more thought provoking. Plus, I really need to get a post out since it's been too long in gaps, but that is another story (making excuses that I've been too busy transitioning). More on that will come.
Today, more specifically now, I can't help but think about the notion of image and how heavy its implications can weigh on us.
We live in a world where image seems to be everything and we make it that way, which impeded our abilities to act innately. Not everyone is worried about how their image is portrayed, yes there are always outliers, but much of our lives are micromanaged because of image. To clarify, I don't want you to think I'm trying to say you shouldn't care about your image; conversely, I'm same we should care about our image in a more concentrated and productive manner. A couple examples to consider:
Drake, an actor turned musician, seems to be quite the polarizing artist. On one hand, people like the emotional and real life quality he brings to his music. On the other hand, he's too soft and emotion; some people see him as a weak individual and unworthy of musical accolades. Since he falls under the rap/hip-hop category, he's proscribed an image of "gangster" or "hood" that he's supposed to adhere to, but he doesn't. We tend to get so caught up in an artist's image and who they are supposed to be that we loose sight of the artist.
In a similar vain of artists and images, one can't help but think about Miley Cyrus. She's an example of someone so desperate to break her image that she's going to extremes to create a new one. I get the sneaking suspicion this new image isn't necessarily the image she wants deep down, but instead the one she thinks can be most beneficial to her short term in achieving certain goals.
An example that leaves me despondent:
Today, news broke about a 16 year old boy in Chicago who was murdered because he refused to join a gang. The gang members tried to project their image on him and when he rejected their ideals they projected and protected their image by taking his away, permanently. What's saddening about this story is that it isn't isolated. Too many young people, in general, are getting murdered/killed because their image doesn't fit the liking of a certain group.
Countless war veterans either ignore or are ignored for their mental illness suffered from trauma post active duty. They're so worried of maintaing an image of strength and honor, the fact that mental illness is real and dangerous (now matter how strong you claim to be) gets lost. Sadly, because this image gets protected and deeper problems get neglected, tragedy strikes on both small and large scales.
As people of religion, we often project our images of what is supposedly ideal (which is another topic entirely). When outsiders don't fit these images, we are quick to reject and condemn them. Unfortunately and confusingly, trying to project and condemn images due to religion kind of goes against its core. Treat others how you want to be treated; love your neighbor. Instead, we preach religion but spread hate when the image isn't right.
Men have to be strong; women must be week. When the converse image is displayed, there's obviously something wrong with that individual for they just don't fit. Strong women are bitches; weak mean are girls.
The examples are plentiful, but I trust you get the point.
We get so tangled up in images and what image we should project that we lose insight and the sense of our humanity, who we are. Instead of making the world a better place, we find it easier to crush it because it doesn't fit the image that we perceive to be true. We preach love and say we want happiness, but project hate onto others. Until we can accept the fact that people like what they like and let go that not everyone will fit the mold our minds create, we won't ever live in harmony. I strongly urge everyone, myself included, to stop worrying about fitting into and image and just be you. On that note, let others be them and love them for it. After all, we're all an image of God, aren't we? I'd at least like to think that. I hope you take this thought into consideration. --Robert
Wednesday, September 25, 2013
Friday, September 13, 2013
Week One Observations: Five Things I Learned About the Working World
It's been a busy few weeks and I apologize for the delays in blogging but promise to pick it back up with a vengeance as I get settled. Tonight, I'd like to make a quick, but somewhat fun post about things I learned/noticed from this first (unofficial) week of work. No crazy revelations here; just some simply observations.
Five Things I Learned About the Working World
1. Wearing ties is...frowned upon?
As many of you know, and many of you may not know, I went to a private, Catholic high school. Our dress code was shirt, tie, dress pants and shoes every day. The purpose of the dress code was not only supposed to keep us in a proper mindset to be ready to learn, but it was also implemented with the intention of preparing us for the "real world." So, after four years of it I became very accustomed to wearing a shirt and tie for professional matters. Heck, any time I had to be "fancy," a shirt and tie has since been a must. At every internship I've worked at, I have worn a shirt and tie. I have also been under the presumption that wearing a tie was the proper thing to do. False. This week, one of the first questions I got asked as I entered my new building and new job was, "Why are you wearing a tie?" Now, I'm sure not every workplace is like mine, but I figured as a bigger company they would follow whatever the ubiquitous fashion trend of professional businesses is. A few people told me to not wear a tie. I wore a polo shirt I found stashed in my dresser drawer today and it felt super weird. Welcome to the working world. Where did the "real world" go?
2. Meetings are a requirement you're bound to form a love/hate relationship with.
As an intern, I wasn't ever really required to go to meetings--not too often, anyways. I went to a few here and there just to get the experience, but many times I was told not to worry about going. From last Friday through this Friday, I've been to about ten plus meetings. Some of them have seemed so unnecessary. Others seem necessary but ill-conceived. And others you just find yourself zoning out. While meetings can be a drag they are a necessary component of work life (office work life, at least). It helps keep communication in tact and drive projects forward. The real beauty of meetings, though, comes from the fact that they help cruise your day along. Today, I had an hour meeting and suddenly the weekend didn't seem so far away. Meetings help make the workdays go faster, which isn't a bad thing in my book.
3. Managing your time is really important.
As an intern, I'd often thirst for more work. I would feel such hunger pains from lack of substance in terms of workload it'd drive me to the edge. Other times, I'd feel like I stayed at the buffet for too long. What you learn quickly is that work can often be feast or famine. In that vein, it's not a bad idea to learn quickly how to manage your time. Time management is important in ever aspect of life, but especially in the working world. You have to find the right balance. If you don't manage your time, you can be sacked with too many projects flying your way, which could lead you feeling overwhelmed. Conversely, you could leave yourself with nothing to do. For the second scenario, I know one may say that if you have nothing to do you should ask because doing so will get you good remarks and maybe help move you up the food chain faster. This may be true, but it could also backfire and cause too high of expectations that are going to bound you to failure. From my sense of things, it's best to keep a steady pace. Get things done in a timely manner, but don't overdo it. If you do, it could lead to some troubling times. Sometimes, you have what's in front of you and think long term.
4. Communication is key.
This point is a good follow up to the last, I think. Besides being an efficient and effective worker, do you want to know how to really impress people? Be a good communicator. This week I had to work on a lot of projects that involved routing back and forth between various people. I made sure to answer every email, send frequent (but not overly frequent) updates, and route quickly. I swear, it sometimes felt like I was re-inventing the wheel. I wasn't getting overly praised by any means, but I just got the sense that people were impressed at how effective I was at doing a job I had no training for and basically was rushed into. (This week, I subbed for a worker while I wait for my position to start). Seriously, though, just being keeping good communication in tact can really separate you from other co-workers in a good way. By sending the extra email if you think someone possibly forgot about a past project, email, question, etc. you can look like you're way on top of things. It makes for a better workflow and is vital for success in the workplace.
5. It's as volatile as you imagine.
If you have been immersed into a work environment at all, you'll get this point early on, but it's worth noting nonetheless. It's amazing how quiet and orderly a place can be at one moment then how loud and hectic it can be at the next. People need to chat, fool around, and have fun to keep their sanity. I'm happy that's still a thing in a work environment. I really do think without the minor spikes in humor, conversation, random donut breaks, etc people would go insane. I know if I don't distract myself once in awhile I would. Seriously, though, it's hard to get a read on what a "normal" workplace is. One minute you're hard pressed for deadlines the next you're celebrating a different project's completion. I already knew and understood the volatile nature of grownup work from past experiences (like how quickly people can be let go). What makes this a learning experience is the amount of people that left this week. It may not seem like a ton, but in the matter of the week we lost three people from our general group, which is somewhat astounding to me and shows how volatile it really is. Yesterday, one lady was showing me around the building, giving me suggestions on where to find things, and telling me about her passion for tennis. This morning I came in and found out she decided to quit. It just makes you realize how even calm waters aren't safe.
I'm not sure where this adventure will take me, but I can tell you it will be an adventure.
Five Things I Learned About the Working World
1. Wearing ties is...frowned upon?
As many of you know, and many of you may not know, I went to a private, Catholic high school. Our dress code was shirt, tie, dress pants and shoes every day. The purpose of the dress code was not only supposed to keep us in a proper mindset to be ready to learn, but it was also implemented with the intention of preparing us for the "real world." So, after four years of it I became very accustomed to wearing a shirt and tie for professional matters. Heck, any time I had to be "fancy," a shirt and tie has since been a must. At every internship I've worked at, I have worn a shirt and tie. I have also been under the presumption that wearing a tie was the proper thing to do. False. This week, one of the first questions I got asked as I entered my new building and new job was, "Why are you wearing a tie?" Now, I'm sure not every workplace is like mine, but I figured as a bigger company they would follow whatever the ubiquitous fashion trend of professional businesses is. A few people told me to not wear a tie. I wore a polo shirt I found stashed in my dresser drawer today and it felt super weird. Welcome to the working world. Where did the "real world" go?
2. Meetings are a requirement you're bound to form a love/hate relationship with.
As an intern, I wasn't ever really required to go to meetings--not too often, anyways. I went to a few here and there just to get the experience, but many times I was told not to worry about going. From last Friday through this Friday, I've been to about ten plus meetings. Some of them have seemed so unnecessary. Others seem necessary but ill-conceived. And others you just find yourself zoning out. While meetings can be a drag they are a necessary component of work life (office work life, at least). It helps keep communication in tact and drive projects forward. The real beauty of meetings, though, comes from the fact that they help cruise your day along. Today, I had an hour meeting and suddenly the weekend didn't seem so far away. Meetings help make the workdays go faster, which isn't a bad thing in my book.
3. Managing your time is really important.
As an intern, I'd often thirst for more work. I would feel such hunger pains from lack of substance in terms of workload it'd drive me to the edge. Other times, I'd feel like I stayed at the buffet for too long. What you learn quickly is that work can often be feast or famine. In that vein, it's not a bad idea to learn quickly how to manage your time. Time management is important in ever aspect of life, but especially in the working world. You have to find the right balance. If you don't manage your time, you can be sacked with too many projects flying your way, which could lead you feeling overwhelmed. Conversely, you could leave yourself with nothing to do. For the second scenario, I know one may say that if you have nothing to do you should ask because doing so will get you good remarks and maybe help move you up the food chain faster. This may be true, but it could also backfire and cause too high of expectations that are going to bound you to failure. From my sense of things, it's best to keep a steady pace. Get things done in a timely manner, but don't overdo it. If you do, it could lead to some troubling times. Sometimes, you have what's in front of you and think long term.
4. Communication is key.
This point is a good follow up to the last, I think. Besides being an efficient and effective worker, do you want to know how to really impress people? Be a good communicator. This week I had to work on a lot of projects that involved routing back and forth between various people. I made sure to answer every email, send frequent (but not overly frequent) updates, and route quickly. I swear, it sometimes felt like I was re-inventing the wheel. I wasn't getting overly praised by any means, but I just got the sense that people were impressed at how effective I was at doing a job I had no training for and basically was rushed into. (This week, I subbed for a worker while I wait for my position to start). Seriously, though, just being keeping good communication in tact can really separate you from other co-workers in a good way. By sending the extra email if you think someone possibly forgot about a past project, email, question, etc. you can look like you're way on top of things. It makes for a better workflow and is vital for success in the workplace.
5. It's as volatile as you imagine.
If you have been immersed into a work environment at all, you'll get this point early on, but it's worth noting nonetheless. It's amazing how quiet and orderly a place can be at one moment then how loud and hectic it can be at the next. People need to chat, fool around, and have fun to keep their sanity. I'm happy that's still a thing in a work environment. I really do think without the minor spikes in humor, conversation, random donut breaks, etc people would go insane. I know if I don't distract myself once in awhile I would. Seriously, though, it's hard to get a read on what a "normal" workplace is. One minute you're hard pressed for deadlines the next you're celebrating a different project's completion. I already knew and understood the volatile nature of grownup work from past experiences (like how quickly people can be let go). What makes this a learning experience is the amount of people that left this week. It may not seem like a ton, but in the matter of the week we lost three people from our general group, which is somewhat astounding to me and shows how volatile it really is. Yesterday, one lady was showing me around the building, giving me suggestions on where to find things, and telling me about her passion for tennis. This morning I came in and found out she decided to quit. It just makes you realize how even calm waters aren't safe.
I'm not sure where this adventure will take me, but I can tell you it will be an adventure.
Tuesday, September 3, 2013
The Key to Starting the Ignition: Attitude Drives Your Life
I've spent many of my post discussing various stepping stones on the path to finding happiness. I've try to look at the different components that make up one's happiness or the different ways one can find happiness. I've suggested that it's logical to choose to be happy over sad, I've suggested that controlling your own life could lead to more happiness, and I've even suggested taking out negative feelings towards others. Each of these thoughts contain the common denominator of control and consequence. The more I think about how one can truly find contentment within his or her own life, the more I believe the most important factor is the individual and his or her own will power to attain that contentment.
Why did I add that paragraph? Why did I need to mention any of that? Well, I do a lot of general speaking. While I try not to generalize, I try to spread my message so it is applicable to every person reading it; however, life doesn't work that way all the time. I understand that I can preach about living conditions, opportunity, etc. but I can never and will never truly know and understand what it is like to be in someone else's shoes. I can try to all I want, I can educate myself, I can think I understand, but at the end of the day, I can't know. That goes the same for someone who wants to think they understand my living conditions simply based off of what they know or perceive. As I mentioned in my last post, I can somewhat understand why generalizations exist but you need to take things on a personal basis. Unfortunately, for many people that doesn't happen.
I'm going to come back to this notion of privilege and opportunity later, but I thought I'd lay it out a little first.
Having conversations with a few people within this last week, as well as doing some self reflection, I've been thinking a lot about attitude. Attitude plays such a paramount role in our journeys. Genetics, skills, abilities, and hard work all play important factors, but the more I think about it the more I believe that attitude is the most important stepping stone towards achieving goals and succeeding in life. It's hard to truly call one aspect more important than another, but without attitude all the other stones are rendered relatively useless. It is the tool we really need to hone first and foremost. (Genetics/abilities are often out of our hands, yes, but I'm saying more in the grand scheme of things).
People who psych themselves out before trying will often fail. If you carry the attitude that you're not smart enough, not skilled enough, not likeable enough, how do you expect to succeed? That attitude is the match the lights the wick; it's the initial domino. If it's burning with a fire of negativity, how do you expect the explosion to be positive? Even if you don't necessarily buy into it, fake it. Tell yourself you are good enough, you can do this, you will do this. It sets the tone for so much of your life.
Let me give you an example. As a freshman in high school, I still didn't hit my growth spurt. I came in as a 5''5 skinny, weak kid who never faced a ton of competition when it came to sports tryouts growing up. When I tried out for the basketball team, I was up against multiple rounds of cuts (something relatively new to me), many bigger kids, many stronger kids, many more confident kids. I had a subdued attitude that I probably didn't stand much of a chance. Prediction correct. I ended up getting cut partially because of my size and position, but also because I just didn't perform to my capabilities. I didn't believe I belonged; I had a pretty negative attitude. Conversely, in my junior year of high school I was on the track team participating as a long jumper for my first full year. Looking at me, I didn't fit the typical mold of a long jumper (at least what one might imagine anyways). To me, though, I felt like I belonged, I thought to myself I could do it. I carried the attitude that I would succeed. Because of this attitude, I trained hard and practiced hard. I believed I could succeed and wanted to succeed. Honestly, I think I succeeded. I wasn't the best jumper in the state, region, or even on my team. But I competed. I was able to jump over 20 feet, which to me was an accomplishment as someone who was pretty raw at the sport, I was able to place fourth in the league meet (the top three being my teammates), and I was able to be a varsity athlete. Our team's top jumper described me as someone who seemed to float in the air forever. Morale of the story: When I carried a positive attitude, I was much more successful than when I didn't.
It just seems to me that attitude is such a driving force. If you carry a negative attitude going into a situation, the likelihood of that situation being anything different isn't high. Why? Because you're looking for the negative. You're attitude gives you an easy out. If you don't think you're good enough, you'll be okay not being good enough. If you think a party will be lame, you'll look for reasons to think the party is lame. If you don't carry a positive attitude, why would you work for a positive result? I'm begging you to not be a defeatist. Sure, things don't always work out, but they'll never work out if you don't give them a chance.
People with bad attitudes don't often get anywhere. So, why carry one? If you have a bad attitude, I ask you, what's the point? What's the end goal? Why go through life think you can't? You can. Bad attitudes tend to catch up with people. Someone can have all the talent in the world, but if they have a bad attitude, more likely than not that will hinder their likelihood of sustained success.
Even in terms of likability, attitude plays a role. I don't know how many times I've heard confidence is sexy. If you don't think you're good enough, you won't act like you're good enough and people will take note. I know it's a movie, but look at Hitch for example. All Hitch does is give the guys the confidence to approach women who are "out of their leagues." Once they are afforded the opportunity and expound on the given confidence, they suddenly jump leagues. He instills a different attitude in his clients. It really plays a part in nearly every aspect of your life (relationships, work, school, looks, happiness, expectations, etc.).
I have many friends who maintain a can-do attitude and I have seen their growth and success because of it. Life isn't a cakewalk, it's not supposed to be. You can succeed to if you'd like yourself try. And I mean really try, not say you're trying but half-ass it or say it's futile. In terms of privilege and opportunities, I understand people have more than others but I also understand you can get around that obstacle with hard work. Heck, I know some folks who have been given easy gateways to success their entire lives. I understand how difficult that is to swallow when you work your butt off but aren't afforded the same chances. However, I've seen many friends who have faced diversity and come out on top and are coming out on top because they carry a good attitude. They believe in their power and know they can and will succeed. Because of that attitude and how they carry themselves, I know they'll succeed to. It's hard to watch folks with bad or negative attitudes because I feel like they are wasting talent or opportunities. Many factors play a role in how your life will turn out but it will always start with you. If there is a will, as hard as it may be sometimes, I guarantee there is a way.
Quick Qualification
Before getting into this week's stepping stone, I think I need to mention something at the forefront. I am a white male who has been afforded certain privileges in my life. I didn't grow up with money, I've never had an allowance, I've endured certain struggles, etc. but I understand regardless of my living conditions I've still been afforded privileges others have not--both because of my sex and my skin color. While we live in a world where I genuinely think progress is being made based on what I experienced in high school and have seen in college, I understand we still have work to do. Some people may believe that the playing field has been leveled, but it certainly has not. Unfortunately, in some instances it still sways the wrong way where a certain genetic makeup is seen in a better light and in other instances there is almost an overcompensation to make things more even, which can flip the script. I've seen it both ways.Why did I add that paragraph? Why did I need to mention any of that? Well, I do a lot of general speaking. While I try not to generalize, I try to spread my message so it is applicable to every person reading it; however, life doesn't work that way all the time. I understand that I can preach about living conditions, opportunity, etc. but I can never and will never truly know and understand what it is like to be in someone else's shoes. I can try to all I want, I can educate myself, I can think I understand, but at the end of the day, I can't know. That goes the same for someone who wants to think they understand my living conditions simply based off of what they know or perceive. As I mentioned in my last post, I can somewhat understand why generalizations exist but you need to take things on a personal basis. Unfortunately, for many people that doesn't happen.
I'm going to come back to this notion of privilege and opportunity later, but I thought I'd lay it out a little first.
Having conversations with a few people within this last week, as well as doing some self reflection, I've been thinking a lot about attitude. Attitude plays such a paramount role in our journeys. Genetics, skills, abilities, and hard work all play important factors, but the more I think about it the more I believe that attitude is the most important stepping stone towards achieving goals and succeeding in life. It's hard to truly call one aspect more important than another, but without attitude all the other stones are rendered relatively useless. It is the tool we really need to hone first and foremost. (Genetics/abilities are often out of our hands, yes, but I'm saying more in the grand scheme of things).
I can, and I will, and I do
Celebrities, athletes, and the likes are often in the spotlight. While they can get annoying or may say or do some egregious things, if you listen closely you can gain some insightful information. People who achieve great things, whether it's through accomplishments, fame, inventions, improves, etc. come from various backgrounds. There is no simplified formula to predict if someone will achieve a particular greatness. One message that I've often heard from successful people that constantly occupies my thoughts is the notion that what you believe will happen likely will. Your attitude can dictate an outcome. It doesn't always work out that way, true. I can say that I'm going to be a hall of fame quarterback and believe it to be the case, but in reality I have no shot. You sometimes have to put dreams in perspective, but you have to carry the right attitude.People who psych themselves out before trying will often fail. If you carry the attitude that you're not smart enough, not skilled enough, not likeable enough, how do you expect to succeed? That attitude is the match the lights the wick; it's the initial domino. If it's burning with a fire of negativity, how do you expect the explosion to be positive? Even if you don't necessarily buy into it, fake it. Tell yourself you are good enough, you can do this, you will do this. It sets the tone for so much of your life.
Let me give you an example. As a freshman in high school, I still didn't hit my growth spurt. I came in as a 5''5 skinny, weak kid who never faced a ton of competition when it came to sports tryouts growing up. When I tried out for the basketball team, I was up against multiple rounds of cuts (something relatively new to me), many bigger kids, many stronger kids, many more confident kids. I had a subdued attitude that I probably didn't stand much of a chance. Prediction correct. I ended up getting cut partially because of my size and position, but also because I just didn't perform to my capabilities. I didn't believe I belonged; I had a pretty negative attitude. Conversely, in my junior year of high school I was on the track team participating as a long jumper for my first full year. Looking at me, I didn't fit the typical mold of a long jumper (at least what one might imagine anyways). To me, though, I felt like I belonged, I thought to myself I could do it. I carried the attitude that I would succeed. Because of this attitude, I trained hard and practiced hard. I believed I could succeed and wanted to succeed. Honestly, I think I succeeded. I wasn't the best jumper in the state, region, or even on my team. But I competed. I was able to jump over 20 feet, which to me was an accomplishment as someone who was pretty raw at the sport, I was able to place fourth in the league meet (the top three being my teammates), and I was able to be a varsity athlete. Our team's top jumper described me as someone who seemed to float in the air forever. Morale of the story: When I carried a positive attitude, I was much more successful than when I didn't.
It just seems to me that attitude is such a driving force. If you carry a negative attitude going into a situation, the likelihood of that situation being anything different isn't high. Why? Because you're looking for the negative. You're attitude gives you an easy out. If you don't think you're good enough, you'll be okay not being good enough. If you think a party will be lame, you'll look for reasons to think the party is lame. If you don't carry a positive attitude, why would you work for a positive result? I'm begging you to not be a defeatist. Sure, things don't always work out, but they'll never work out if you don't give them a chance.
People with bad attitudes don't often get anywhere. So, why carry one? If you have a bad attitude, I ask you, what's the point? What's the end goal? Why go through life think you can't? You can. Bad attitudes tend to catch up with people. Someone can have all the talent in the world, but if they have a bad attitude, more likely than not that will hinder their likelihood of sustained success.
Even in terms of likability, attitude plays a role. I don't know how many times I've heard confidence is sexy. If you don't think you're good enough, you won't act like you're good enough and people will take note. I know it's a movie, but look at Hitch for example. All Hitch does is give the guys the confidence to approach women who are "out of their leagues." Once they are afforded the opportunity and expound on the given confidence, they suddenly jump leagues. He instills a different attitude in his clients. It really plays a part in nearly every aspect of your life (relationships, work, school, looks, happiness, expectations, etc.).
I have many friends who maintain a can-do attitude and I have seen their growth and success because of it. Life isn't a cakewalk, it's not supposed to be. You can succeed to if you'd like yourself try. And I mean really try, not say you're trying but half-ass it or say it's futile. In terms of privilege and opportunities, I understand people have more than others but I also understand you can get around that obstacle with hard work. Heck, I know some folks who have been given easy gateways to success their entire lives. I understand how difficult that is to swallow when you work your butt off but aren't afforded the same chances. However, I've seen many friends who have faced diversity and come out on top and are coming out on top because they carry a good attitude. They believe in their power and know they can and will succeed. Because of that attitude and how they carry themselves, I know they'll succeed to. It's hard to watch folks with bad or negative attitudes because I feel like they are wasting talent or opportunities. Many factors play a role in how your life will turn out but it will always start with you. If there is a will, as hard as it may be sometimes, I guarantee there is a way.
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