The Pursuit: The Logical Nature of Happiness

So, I started a different topic, but decided that it needs more time to develop before I fully flesh it out.  Plus, in the mean time, I have since thought of other things to discuss.  I think today’s topic will work as a great segue into a different discussion, which will be nice for the flow of things.

For Starters: Semi-Truths 

I tend to believe that while maybe absolutes don’t exist, certain semi-truths do.  For many of these semi-truths, we tend to forget about them in the midst of life’s whirlwind.  Since we tend to forget about certain things over time, I think it is potentially positively impactful if we can be reminded about said semi-truths over time.

I’d like to quickly qualify why I am labeling items as semi-truths and not absolutes.  I have a tough time accepting something as an absolute, something that is purely certain, because life tends to through so much variation our way that it doesn’t really allow anything to remain certain through and through.  Thinking about it though a statistical point of view, it’s rare to see anything have a 100% success rate, and I think life follows a similar path.  Thus, I’d argue certain things are semi-truths in that they normally follow a certain pattern, but obviously can’t account for all the caveats life throws in the way.

Binaries and the easy way out 

I have always been intrigued by the dichotomy of happiness/sadness or even optimism/pessimism.  Admittedly, for a long time pessimism has permeated my life.  It has always seemed like the easier path.  Think about it: It’s seemingly the ultimate win-win situation.  If you look at life through a negative lens, where you expect the worst out of people or situations, you are seemingly guaranteeing two things.  One, if your prediction or forecast comes true, you won’t face disappointment because it’s what you expected; you’re prepared for it.  Secondly, if the situation ends up better than you surmised, a sense of satisfaction overcomes you because it exceeds expectations.  Even if in the grand scheme of things the situation isn’t that great, you perceive it to be a win because you didn’t expect or hope for much to begin with.

Optimism and happiness, and pessimism and sadness, appear to be connected but arguably only to an extent.  When one thinks of an optimistic person, he or she would most likely think of a happy individual who sees the best in ever person or every situation.  On the other one, that same person could view a pessimist as someone perpetually sad because of his or her glum outlook on life.  Yes, the optimist usually has a happier aura while the pessimist carries a heavier sadness, but one must pay attention to key words in the definitions. In the definition of both words, hopefulness or belief is used.  So, it isn’t necessarily a feeling one exhibits rather a prediction, of sorts.  While the optimist may find the positives in a situation, it doesn’t always guarantee they will experience happiness.  Conversely to the aforementioned pessimist, the optimist could potentially find disappointing when the situation does not meet or drastically fails to meet his or her expectations.

Since I’ve established the fine line walked when discussing optimism and pessimism, I’d like to dismiss those words for the rest of this piece and disassociate them with happiness and sadness.  Instead, I’d like to make a pitch for the existence of a semi-truth that we have a choice between the happy/sad binary.

The Emotional Side: We are animals

It’s important to recognize that happiness and sadness, innately, are emotions.  Emotions are natural and reactive.  Many times, we cannot necessarily control them for they overcome us without any rationale.  Emotions, pure and raw, are really animalistic qualities that connect us to the other creatures traversing this earth.  So, I get it, emotions can’t necessarily be controlled. The beauty of our human nature, though, and what helps separate us from other animals is our rationale (our ability to think with reason).

How It's Our Choice

Rationality and perspective can play a major role in our decisiveness.  I believe they can also help manage the powerful emotions we experience.  While certain feelings tend to magically creep in, as we react, our thoughts can help stop the emotions or even control them.  I know I said I didn’t want to talk about optimism or pessimism anymore, but allow me to briefly be a hypocrite.  Think about it from this end, optimism and pessimism are not emotions they are choices.  Someone chooses to think positively or negatively about an outlook; that person does not naturally.  Similarly, we have the ability and power to choose between being happy or sad.

We choose whether to perceive the positives or the negatives of a situation.  This example is a little rough to think about, but think about the death of a loved one.  At the funeral, don’t they always tend to preach not to cry about what was lost but rejoice and remember the positive impact of the individual’s existence?  It’s kind of similar with various life situations.  We have the choice to mourn over a loss or rejoice over the gain.  I’m not going to lie, I keep think of examples to write down to exemplify what I’m saying, but there are way too many because it relates to everyday life.  Plus, if I say an example one could jump to many conclusions right away, and I think explaining my thought process will clarify things much more easily.

Each situation and each person we encounter is going to have pros and cons, good things and bad things; however, we can choose what to get out of the situation or person.  If one chooses the bad things and chooses to be sad, what good does that do?  For one, you cannot change the person or the situation.  It’s often hard for us to admit, but what is done is done.  Even if it is a crappy situation or something terrible happened, you can’t change what happened.  Then harping over it or being sad not only affects the rest of your day or future situations, it can negatively affect those around you.  So, instead of enduring something and moving on, you allow it to build into something much worse and of a much greater magnitude for no real reason.  Seriously, yes at first you mad get super upset and say this sucks, but continuing that mantra makes no LOGICAL sense. 

Instead, why not endure the situation and not let it ruin the rest of your hour, day, week, month, year, etc.  Take the situation and control it.  Okay, things didn’t’ go as planned, but at this point it is out of your control.  Try to find something that will make you say, “hey it will be okay; we’ll get through this.”  Converse to choosing sadness, choosing happiness can allow you to enjoy what ensues as well as allow others to enjoy life too.  Again, the situation is in stone, you can’t control it.  But if you think negatively, you run the risk of ruining other things while if you try to stay positive maybe a solution can be found (if the situation was poor).  Plus, think about it this way: don’t you find life more enjoyable when you’re happy?  Why would you consciously want to be anything else?

It's a Fight 

I’ll admit, constantly choosing happiness is tough.  Believe me.  I mean, for one, you can’t control natural law and the randomness life brings, which can get really frustrating.  You also can’t control people.  Some days, the pressures of life to succeed and be amazing can be overwhelming, but EVERYONE deals with life’s traps.  Maybe not everyone admits it and maybe it’s hard to see, but you must realize that we all have troubles.  Some are worse than others, yes, but each situation is different.  Normally, sweeping generalizations are not a good thing, but I believe this one is true.  So, yes, I get it.  If life seems to always drag you down, it’s hard to choose happiness.  But do you think you’re the only person who faces such difficulties? Could it possibly be your attitude or choice on how to perceive these difficulties?  I think I’ve faced that difficulty many times, but when I’ve choose to be happy or stay happy, my life has been the most fulfilling.  Instead of being dragged down by uncertainties, failures, or sadness we can choose to rise up to the challenge and say this is my life and I will keep fighting for it.  You may not be able to control certain things, but at the very least you can control the rational thought to stay happy.  Doing so can allow you to face adversities with a high head.  It will allow you to keep a group of people (because people want to be around positively) which will give you a support system for the tough times, etc.  I just think happiness is worth the choice and the fight.  And, maybe optimistically, I hope that in choosing happiness it will allow us to fight for a better tomorrow for ourselves, and others, and will thus lead to better things.

Final Thoughts: Clarification 

I must quickly qualify that I’m not suggesting one should immerse in blind happiness or blind optimism (going back to that word).  Doing so is dangerous.  It’s like with pain: People who cannot feel pain are at danger because it’s a warning from our body that harm is being done.  Similarly, if we decide to turn our cheeks to everything and blindly be happy or optimistic, it can be just as disastrous as staying purely negative.  What I am suggesting, though, is that every situation is going to have some random mixture of good and bad.  Being dragged down by negatively will do nothing to fix a situation.  We can recognize the poison, but submitting ourselves to it will destroy us.  If we recognize it is there and decide to walk away from it, it affords us the opportunity to find a cure.  There are 6.97 billion people on this planet. I know at times you feel lonely, but you’re not alone. The person next to you struggles to, but by choosing to be happy we can fix our broken souls.  Have a happy day!