While perusing Facebook and Twitter today, researching companies for my work, I ran across a post that read something along the lines of, "School prevents me from having a life." My gut reaction was to roll my eyes. Then, I thought about how many times I've heard that line, or a similar line before, and how many times I read it nearly daily. Not only do people complain, presumably sometimes tongue in cheek, that school ruins their lives but I'm pretty sure it's too difficult, it asks for too much, etc. Considering these qualms and complaints, and the volumes of them, made me wonder if it's true.
Let's discuss...
First let's talk about the statement, "School prevents me from having a life." We must begin by defining "life." Obviously, the individual did not literally mean life, so I'll work under the presumption s(he) was referring to a social life. Okay, fair enough. Sure, school keeps you busy so you don't have time on the weekdays to do much more than study or participate an extracurricular (IF you even have time for that).
But wait.
Isn't school the reason you have a social life to begin with? Didn't your first friends because of school? Didn't you learn how to socialize with others in a school setting? How dare they make you learn to function, or try to function, in the social world. Jerks. Without school, it's hard to say what kind of social life you'd have to begin with. Sure, you meet kids at daycares and learn some social skills there, but is it really the same? You might learn to play with kids, cool, but what else? If you can speak with someone on an intellectual level it runs the conversation dry. One can only build so many legos.
Well, elementary and middle school weren't tough. Plus, I didn't have a need for a social life. Now that I'm in high school/college, school just gets in the way.
Life is just too tough, isn't it? Being afforded the opportunity to get an education, what a drag. Again, you gain a social life through school. You want to hang out with your high school/college friends, yet they wouldn't exist if you never went to school. Want a social life instead of school? Fine, drop out. Good luck supporting yourself, though. You'll just get a job at McDonalds? That's a helluva a life to shoot for. School is a necessity. Is a time consuming necessity? Yes. But put it in perspective. You know what comes after school? Work. At work, you don't get snow days, spring breaks, summer vacation (sans teachers), etc. You work and work and work and work. And depending on your job, you just may have "homework" to do to get paid. Can't live without that green. Furthermore, guessing such people are between 16-20 (as many 21/22 year olds realize they'll miss that meandering thing called school)..you have PLENTY of time to not have school. You're barely statistically a quarter way through your life, if that.
Okay, but why do we have to take such difficult classes or classes we don't want to take?
Cliche time: Life isn't easy. It never way, never is, and never will be. It's a challenge; a wonderfully frustrating but ultimately satisfying challenge. You want to complain about school? Go talk to a homeless person struggling to find his or her next meal. You think they'd like to switch with you right now? These classes are there to shape you into a tougher person who can face adversity and not end up on the streets. These tough classes are there to push you to open your horizons and see the world from a broader scope. These class are there to help you find your strengths and your weaknesses, and to help you find what you like. These classes are there to help shape your life. Did I enjoy taking history classes? No. But it helped me understand that I wasn't meant to be a historian.
People who succeed aren't successful merely because of skill. They work hard everyday to achieve their goals--regardless if the work is easy or not.
Is college expensive? Yes it is. But how many people do you know don't get nostalgic when reminiscing about their college years? How many people do you know who have good jobs yet didn't get to college? I'd wager not too many. We live in a world of instantaneous gratification--I want it now. Don't stay the course, stay YOUR course and wait for the more satisfying gratification. People want to blow off high school or college now to live, but I can guarantee you being able to live a gratifying life in your adult years will be much more impacting and lasting than having great teenage years. Do you really want to live paycheck to paycheck, but say, "hey, my teens, those were the times"? I certainly hope not. You have a great opportunity to not only impact your life but others. Take it.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Martin-Incognito: A Mess that Spills Over into Society
I'm always looking for new topics to blog about though, truthfully, I shouldn't ever run out of ideas because each day presents something absolutely fascinating. The other day, a friend suggested that I write about the whole Jonathan Martin-Richie Incognito ordeal. As I told him, I think this situation is so incredibly interesting yet equally messy.
If you, by chance, don't know what's going on you can search the Internet and find no dearth of articles. Problematically, while an investigation is currently underway we still don't have the hard facts. Situations like this one can be sticky because it often comes down to he said she said (or in this case he said he said). Here's what we do know for certain: Jonathan Martin has left his team, Richie Incognito has been indefinitely suspended, both are looking for justice and vindication, and both have supporters. What makes this case so interesting: Jonathan Martin claims he was bullied by multiple teammates but the main focus is on Incognito, rumors have circulated Martin was lazy and didn't show much work ethic, Incognito is an undeniable d-bag, and many teammates have come to Incognito's side.
When analyzing this situation, I don't see how one can OBJECTIVELY say one person is more wrong than the other. From the various stories and tidbits percolating the interweb, it's hard to side with either person. Jonathan Martin is being painted as a wussy by some folks and as a role model by others. The big issues I have with him, based on what I've heard, is that 1) teammates have said that Martin had the main piece of evidence in question (a voicemail from Incognito that poses death threats and uses obscene and defamatory words) for a while and laughed about it, but now suddenly it's a problem, 2) he's acting like he's the first person to go through hazing in the NFL, 3) it's certainly strange that his own teammates, generally speaking, aren't backing him (makes me wonder if this coup is a copout). On the flip side, how could I or anyone really side with Incognito? 1) He's recorded saying these words, 2) I've heard stories ranging from him prodding a woman on a golf course with his club to demeaning staff members, 3) before this story broke out I knew him as the lineman who was always picking fights. The guy is an awful person. Period.
I really want to wait until the investigators reveal more information until jumping to conclusions. I think this situation plays out one of two ways: either Incognito gets the hammer dropped on him and is made an example for NFL locker rooms or Incognito gets acquitted of the accusations, gets his grievance, and Martin has a tough time latching on with a team.
While the overall situation is interesting, I think it's prevalent in more ways than just football; it highlights a lot of issues with our society today.
Media, Privacy, and Bullying
NOTHING IS PRIVATE ANYMORE. Privacy is virtually non-existant. I really don't think this situation is the first time a problem like this has arisen in an NFL locker room. In the past, though, it's remained in-house and dealt with privately. Many folks within the Dolphins organization are irked and vexed that Martin took it outside the "family." We don't believe in private matters--with the convenience of sharing everything from our food to our pets to how many breaths we took in the last minute instantly, it's like everyone knows everything about everyone. It's super strange but how our world works now. I think this lack of privacy or secrecy really hinders relationships as often people have nothing to share with one another in person and thus have no reason to interact physically (but that's a whole different issue).
If we weren't bad enough, the media takes it to a whole new level. I believe I've said it before, but I hate the media so much. It's absolutely overkill most of the time and it makes the world seem full of vitriol. I understand that bad things happen, but when you hear about it constantly how can you not be a little depressed? Matters get overanalyzed to the point where people are afraid to live at times. Obviously, the media plays an integral role in keeping us knowledgeable, but it's just too much for me at times.
It's not the only factor, but a big core to this problem is bullying. It's a difficult situation we're trying to grasp better today as a society. It's a truly dicey and touchy topic. On one hand, we see a sweeping movement to stop bullying, which is great. No one deserves to be bullied--there's no need to bring someone down to build yourself up. On the other hand, we live in a society that overcompensates for this type of treatment and creates thin-skinned individuals, which leads to our pampered and entitled generation. It's well known that rookies get hazed. Should it be so intense that it causes people to become depressed? Probably not. Should people get depressed if someone puts them down occasionally? Probably not. It's a tight rope for me as someone who has experience in this area, but I think the fact that the term "bullying" is being used, it takes it to a new level. We definitely have more work to do to resolve some of these issues. Personally, I'm guessing the NFL will crack down on these hazing rituals to protect what's most important to them, their pockets. I foresee many lawsuits arising if they don't.
N***************
What's also super troubling, to me, is Incoginto's use of the n. Side note, Louis CK did a bit noting how when people say "the n-word" they're just putting the actual word in someone else's head, which I found interesting. Anywho...
There has been a lot of news, a lot of questions, a lot of opinions, and a lot of articles recently revolving said word. As you may or may not know, Terry Foster wrote a piece not too long ago about how Tony Scheffler (a now former Lion and white individual) used the word somewhat freely with teammate Louis Delmas. Many non-African Americans are questioning why they can't use it more freely as they argue it's become the norm in popular culture. Well, here's one more opinion for you...
I'm going to try and keep this brief because I'm admittedly not an authority to talk about this subject but I do believe certain things should be noted. What people do in their private time is theirs. As I stated above, privacy is at a minimum nowadays so people absolutely must be conscious and careful. If people in the locker room of the NFL are cool with Incognito saying such words, as one teammate deemed his as a "non-racist and a honorary brother," that's their business. But the second you record it on a voicemail or publicize it, you're overstepping boundaries.
I think people are becoming desensitized to the word and forgetting it's roots--slavery. Following that thought, people are forgetting to contextualize the distinct fact that the ending has been changed in use from er to a. It's not cool for me to say that word; it's not cool for Richie Incognito to use that outside of private conversations (that his peers deem okay). Period.
I read an article, I believe it was from NY Times, about the new movie 12 Years a Slave. The author stated that it was the first movie he could remember in some time that didn't glorify and desensitize slavery, but instead it painted it in a mortifying, truthful picture. Basically what I'm getting at is sort of like how many songs like "Wade in the Water" were used to turn something negative into something positive (forcing religion on slaves turned into cryptic messages for escape), n was turned into something that wasn't in the white slave masters' control. People need to stop the petty crap and let it go.
We are trying to simply a complex issue.
At the end of the day, this situation between Martin and Incognito is and will remain a mess. It digs up many ugly skeletons we have been trying to keep in our closets. How it's dealt with could shape how future situations are handled. For now we must wait and see.
If you, by chance, don't know what's going on you can search the Internet and find no dearth of articles. Problematically, while an investigation is currently underway we still don't have the hard facts. Situations like this one can be sticky because it often comes down to he said she said (or in this case he said he said). Here's what we do know for certain: Jonathan Martin has left his team, Richie Incognito has been indefinitely suspended, both are looking for justice and vindication, and both have supporters. What makes this case so interesting: Jonathan Martin claims he was bullied by multiple teammates but the main focus is on Incognito, rumors have circulated Martin was lazy and didn't show much work ethic, Incognito is an undeniable d-bag, and many teammates have come to Incognito's side.
When analyzing this situation, I don't see how one can OBJECTIVELY say one person is more wrong than the other. From the various stories and tidbits percolating the interweb, it's hard to side with either person. Jonathan Martin is being painted as a wussy by some folks and as a role model by others. The big issues I have with him, based on what I've heard, is that 1) teammates have said that Martin had the main piece of evidence in question (a voicemail from Incognito that poses death threats and uses obscene and defamatory words) for a while and laughed about it, but now suddenly it's a problem, 2) he's acting like he's the first person to go through hazing in the NFL, 3) it's certainly strange that his own teammates, generally speaking, aren't backing him (makes me wonder if this coup is a copout). On the flip side, how could I or anyone really side with Incognito? 1) He's recorded saying these words, 2) I've heard stories ranging from him prodding a woman on a golf course with his club to demeaning staff members, 3) before this story broke out I knew him as the lineman who was always picking fights. The guy is an awful person. Period.
I really want to wait until the investigators reveal more information until jumping to conclusions. I think this situation plays out one of two ways: either Incognito gets the hammer dropped on him and is made an example for NFL locker rooms or Incognito gets acquitted of the accusations, gets his grievance, and Martin has a tough time latching on with a team.
While the overall situation is interesting, I think it's prevalent in more ways than just football; it highlights a lot of issues with our society today.
Media, Privacy, and Bullying
NOTHING IS PRIVATE ANYMORE. Privacy is virtually non-existant. I really don't think this situation is the first time a problem like this has arisen in an NFL locker room. In the past, though, it's remained in-house and dealt with privately. Many folks within the Dolphins organization are irked and vexed that Martin took it outside the "family." We don't believe in private matters--with the convenience of sharing everything from our food to our pets to how many breaths we took in the last minute instantly, it's like everyone knows everything about everyone. It's super strange but how our world works now. I think this lack of privacy or secrecy really hinders relationships as often people have nothing to share with one another in person and thus have no reason to interact physically (but that's a whole different issue).
If we weren't bad enough, the media takes it to a whole new level. I believe I've said it before, but I hate the media so much. It's absolutely overkill most of the time and it makes the world seem full of vitriol. I understand that bad things happen, but when you hear about it constantly how can you not be a little depressed? Matters get overanalyzed to the point where people are afraid to live at times. Obviously, the media plays an integral role in keeping us knowledgeable, but it's just too much for me at times.
It's not the only factor, but a big core to this problem is bullying. It's a difficult situation we're trying to grasp better today as a society. It's a truly dicey and touchy topic. On one hand, we see a sweeping movement to stop bullying, which is great. No one deserves to be bullied--there's no need to bring someone down to build yourself up. On the other hand, we live in a society that overcompensates for this type of treatment and creates thin-skinned individuals, which leads to our pampered and entitled generation. It's well known that rookies get hazed. Should it be so intense that it causes people to become depressed? Probably not. Should people get depressed if someone puts them down occasionally? Probably not. It's a tight rope for me as someone who has experience in this area, but I think the fact that the term "bullying" is being used, it takes it to a new level. We definitely have more work to do to resolve some of these issues. Personally, I'm guessing the NFL will crack down on these hazing rituals to protect what's most important to them, their pockets. I foresee many lawsuits arising if they don't.
N***************
What's also super troubling, to me, is Incoginto's use of the n. Side note, Louis CK did a bit noting how when people say "the n-word" they're just putting the actual word in someone else's head, which I found interesting. Anywho...
There has been a lot of news, a lot of questions, a lot of opinions, and a lot of articles recently revolving said word. As you may or may not know, Terry Foster wrote a piece not too long ago about how Tony Scheffler (a now former Lion and white individual) used the word somewhat freely with teammate Louis Delmas. Many non-African Americans are questioning why they can't use it more freely as they argue it's become the norm in popular culture. Well, here's one more opinion for you...
I'm going to try and keep this brief because I'm admittedly not an authority to talk about this subject but I do believe certain things should be noted. What people do in their private time is theirs. As I stated above, privacy is at a minimum nowadays so people absolutely must be conscious and careful. If people in the locker room of the NFL are cool with Incognito saying such words, as one teammate deemed his as a "non-racist and a honorary brother," that's their business. But the second you record it on a voicemail or publicize it, you're overstepping boundaries.
I think people are becoming desensitized to the word and forgetting it's roots--slavery. Following that thought, people are forgetting to contextualize the distinct fact that the ending has been changed in use from er to a. It's not cool for me to say that word; it's not cool for Richie Incognito to use that outside of private conversations (that his peers deem okay). Period.
I read an article, I believe it was from NY Times, about the new movie 12 Years a Slave. The author stated that it was the first movie he could remember in some time that didn't glorify and desensitize slavery, but instead it painted it in a mortifying, truthful picture. Basically what I'm getting at is sort of like how many songs like "Wade in the Water" were used to turn something negative into something positive (forcing religion on slaves turned into cryptic messages for escape), n was turned into something that wasn't in the white slave masters' control. People need to stop the petty crap and let it go.
We are trying to simply a complex issue.
At the end of the day, this situation between Martin and Incognito is and will remain a mess. It digs up many ugly skeletons we have been trying to keep in our closets. How it's dealt with could shape how future situations are handled. For now we must wait and see.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Love is Blindness and We're Trying to See
Last I checked, the current season is fall. Now I could be mistaken, but judging by my Facebook feed, it's currently the season of love too. Within the last week alone I've seen multiple articles talking about love or marriage--one saying marriage isn't for you, one was a priest's rebuttal (which I currently can't find), and another was about the girls guys should go after.
The articles I've seen have created a lot of buzz, sharing, and commenting. People genuinely think these articles hold the answers (or at least tangible answers). What's been most interesting to me is how young these knowledge-droppers are. It's amazing the knowledge they've amassed in such a little time. From their years of experience, they have qualitative knowledge to bequeath to the mass. Sarcasm aside, the mass is listening.
Maybe the fact the this younger generation blogs more frequently sends these articles viral, but it seems to me we are desperate for a youthful voice to show us the way. We want to know that life is going to turn out alright and our fears can be calmed. I find it slightly ironic, though, that this particular guy has been acclaimed for his insight yet his insight was discovered via his father. Anywho...
For me, the information spread has been fascinating, but obvious. Almost too obvious. We are looking for a utopia that simply doesn't exist. We want to find that unlocks the impenetrable gate. It's this innate desire that keeps us striving towards a dream yet slows our reality--we want perfection. It's like we're on a journey to quench our insatiable thirst for the end all be all answer.
Life hasn't, doesn't, and will never work like that. What works for one couple isn't guaranteed to work on another. A "HEY THIS HERE IS HOW TO ABSOLUTELY HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE" guide doesn't exist. Theoretically, yes, I'm sure a perfect formula may exist, but theory and practicality are two very separate existences. People consume droves of self-help books daily; people mindlessly follow leaders who claim to hold the solutions to their everyday struggles; people endlessly hope that the next solution will be the medicine that cures their disease (metaphorically). Note the surplus of quantity and disregard for true quality.
Reality check: If such a thing existed, we wouldn't have so many answers percolating and so many uncertainties remaining. If said solutions existed, they'd be going viral by now. Each person's snowflake existence makes him or her impervious to ubiquity. It's romantic and fantastic to believe someone has it right, but it's equally foolish to live under the pretense that his or her footsteps have marked your path.
Maybe the concept of marriage can be simplified to the notion of bettering your partner, or maybe even centering yourself around God; however, as I've said before, how can you make such a matter of fact claim when so much variety and mercuriality exists in the practice of marriage or life in general for that matter? How can we say, other than stemming from our subjective pride, that our practice is the right practice? How can we preach to our peers when we've so many failures of our own? But, then again, how can I opine in this blog and then expect you to consider my words when I'm trying to disprove others' preachiness? There in lies the question that keeps life so interesting: What should I believe?
I'm such an enigmatic person. I find myself to be so cynical at times while simultaneously searching for optimistic conclusions. I guess, in this case, I'm just warning that though our peers or elders might have great stories, they aren't the stars of our plot.
I believe, momentarily, that we are puzzle pieces looking to find the piece that fits. Not every piece will fit with us, but more than one connecting piece exists--it's our journey to find the piece the fits best, which will allow us to continue solving the puzzle.
I'm still searching.
The articles I've seen have created a lot of buzz, sharing, and commenting. People genuinely think these articles hold the answers (or at least tangible answers). What's been most interesting to me is how young these knowledge-droppers are. It's amazing the knowledge they've amassed in such a little time. From their years of experience, they have qualitative knowledge to bequeath to the mass. Sarcasm aside, the mass is listening.
Maybe the fact the this younger generation blogs more frequently sends these articles viral, but it seems to me we are desperate for a youthful voice to show us the way. We want to know that life is going to turn out alright and our fears can be calmed. I find it slightly ironic, though, that this particular guy has been acclaimed for his insight yet his insight was discovered via his father. Anywho...
Life hasn't, doesn't, and will never work like that. What works for one couple isn't guaranteed to work on another. A "HEY THIS HERE IS HOW TO ABSOLUTELY HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE" guide doesn't exist. Theoretically, yes, I'm sure a perfect formula may exist, but theory and practicality are two very separate existences. People consume droves of self-help books daily; people mindlessly follow leaders who claim to hold the solutions to their everyday struggles; people endlessly hope that the next solution will be the medicine that cures their disease (metaphorically). Note the surplus of quantity and disregard for true quality.
Reality check: If such a thing existed, we wouldn't have so many answers percolating and so many uncertainties remaining. If said solutions existed, they'd be going viral by now. Each person's snowflake existence makes him or her impervious to ubiquity. It's romantic and fantastic to believe someone has it right, but it's equally foolish to live under the pretense that his or her footsteps have marked your path.
Maybe the concept of marriage can be simplified to the notion of bettering your partner, or maybe even centering yourself around God; however, as I've said before, how can you make such a matter of fact claim when so much variety and mercuriality exists in the practice of marriage or life in general for that matter? How can we say, other than stemming from our subjective pride, that our practice is the right practice? How can we preach to our peers when we've so many failures of our own? But, then again, how can I opine in this blog and then expect you to consider my words when I'm trying to disprove others' preachiness? There in lies the question that keeps life so interesting: What should I believe?
I'm such an enigmatic person. I find myself to be so cynical at times while simultaneously searching for optimistic conclusions. I guess, in this case, I'm just warning that though our peers or elders might have great stories, they aren't the stars of our plot.
I believe, momentarily, that we are puzzle pieces looking to find the piece that fits. Not every piece will fit with us, but more than one connecting piece exists--it's our journey to find the piece the fits best, which will allow us to continue solving the puzzle.
I'm still searching.
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