Choo Choo: Express Yourself

After getting into a friendly debate, and promptly conferring with a friend, I found the spark for today's fire. This topic might seem vaguely redundant; it's possible other topics allude to this one.  While it may share similar undertones, I do believe this post offers a fresh take from other posts I have written.  If you begin seeing commonalities among some of my posts, I think that is a good thing.  There is a central theme, or particular root, that I'm hoping to illuminate.  I'm super interested in people and the way we work or function, and like a mechanic (a useful trope), I'm trying to figure out the best way (if there is such a best way) our beings can function. Ya dig?

I want to discuss honesty today, but only a corner of the puzzle.  I believe this discussion of honesty shares kinship with my first post, "The Commodification of People."

A Piece of Honesty

I'd venture to presume it is safe to say people understand that various forms of honesty exist. Or rather, it works through various means.  For instance, academic honesty, courtroom honesty, white lies, etc.  Like many things, it can be spun or used in a variety of ways.  Today I'd like to (hopefully) flesh out the honesty within yourself. Maybe better yet, an honestly within yourself that yields presentational honesty towards others. In terms of Instagram, I'm talking about sharing a picture (no filter).

People often feel that it is hard to "be yourself" in a world that sets standards of constant criticism.  I can't iterate and reiterate enough how misconstrued this view can be.  It makes me think of lyrics from hip-hop/rap artist J. Cole's new song, "Crooked Smile:"

You wake up, put makeup on
Stare in the mirror but its clear that you can’t face what’s wrong
No need to fix what God already put his paint brush on

I think it's time that we stop hiding who we are and accept the person in the mirror. If you don't like what's staring back at you, then take action to fix it, don't hide.  I've already discussed making yourself up in the physical sense, but here I'm referring to a more figurative meaning.  No need to put make up on your personality.  It is who you are. Don't you want people to like you for you?  How can someone like you for you if you don't let them? Aren't you tired of changing or altering yourself temporarily, or at times permanently, for the pure appeasement of others? Let's break down what I'm trying to get it.

Friendship

Generally speaking (curse those sweeping generalizations!), we seek companionship through friends:

• Friendships usually form via some commonality, a shared experience, personality type, etc.
• Friendships form with the belief that the person is who the other person thinks that person is.  
• When one is your friend that person usually, her or she should at least, accepts you for what you bring to the table, flaws and all.
• If you hide elements of your personality at the beginning of a friendship and those elements later arise, people will think you've changed.
• This changed could undoubtedly lead to a loss of friendships.
• How do you not change? Be yourself from the start.

I firmly believe that people possess innate personality qualities.  One might alter a view or suddenly like different things, but I think who a person is deep down in the core doesn't quite ever change.  Once it's established it's established.  An introvert isn't suddenly going to become an extrovert overnight.  That individual might be an extrovert around certain people, but at the end of the day when in his or her true habitat, he or she is an introvert.  These innate qualities create our uniqueness and make us snowflakes rather than raindrops.  The whole point of having friends and companionship is to find people who care about you.  How can someone care about you when they don't know you?  We often get stuck in trivial things to appease others, but must learn to realize these trivial matters are icing to the basic foundation.

For instance, you sometimes hear about "good kids" falling into the wrong crowd and getting involved with drugs.  Lame, trite example, I know.  People are going to experiment, I get it.  If we didn't, how else would we truly discover what we actually like or don't?  But if someone continues to do drugs even if they don't want to, just to maintain the friendship or appease the circle, that person seems to be compromising him or herself.  Just because others are doing drugs, doesn't mean you have to as well.  Unless your friendship revolves around drugs, your friends should respect your stance and it shouldn't affect anything.  If it does, in a negative context, then are they really your friends in the first place? Was there ever a connection to begin with?  We tend to see certain qualities or intricacies of situations and mistake them as the crux of the situation.  A gathering is meant for the purpose of gathering.  What happens there, whether it be for poker night, trivia, drinking, or just playing board games is besides the point.  Yes, those things facilitate the night, but the whole process starts with the notion of gathering and enjoy others' company.  If something doesn't float your boat, you don't have to partake in it. People, friends, are less judging than you think.

Relationships

Same thing goes with intimate relationships.  I can't say for certain I've ever been in love (it's possible), but from what I can gather I would believe you'd want to love someone for who they are.  Obviously, relationships require compromise.  It's a give and take; a push and pull.  We aren't perfect puzzle pieces seamlessly fitting together with ease.  Life's too messy.  But, don't you want to the person you are with, your jaggedly quasi-perfect puzzle piece partner, to know who he or she is connecting with?  I get there is a fear of non-acceptance; however, I feel like a connection made on lies or personality altering would be as empty as one that simply doesn't work.  It just seems cheap. Like, you're not only being cheap with others but with yourself.  Intimate relationships and friendships (in terms of this personal clarity) seem to work similarly.  I just think we need to learn to be honest and say this is me, take it or leave it.  Otherwise, you dig yourself into such a messy whole that either alters who you are or harshly severs relationships, or cleaves friendships, so that they can't be salvaged.  To me, at least, I don't see a reason to compromise who you are for the sake of acceptance.  People want you--they have their flaws just as you do. We are all finite, imperfect beings.

Here's the deal:

 There will be times that you do things you don't want. It happens. Relationships require compromise to reach fruition.  Let me be clear, though, that does not mean you should change who you are.  Instead, I am saying a guy may have to go shopping with his wife or a wife might have to go to a football game with her husband.  Similarly, a friend may go to the beach with another friend even if he or she doesn't want to swim.  While these things happen, so long as the person is clear how they feel (without complaining for the sake of complaining) that person can be true.  It's understandable you aren't going to like everything as everyone else. Honest. It happens. The husband doesn't have to get into shopping, the wife doesn't have to become the number one football fan, the friend doesn't have to swim.  The fact that you care enough to enjoy time with that other person is all that matters in the end.  That can lead to clear communication, which can create happiness.  If you have to fake something, the truth will come out and it's arduous for everyone involved.

Within Yourself

I think it stems within. Are you okay with you? Are you confident enough to say, "Hey world this is me"? I know you can sometimes think you should change for others or be someone you are not, but that seems like self-doubt; as if who you are isn't good enough.  You are who you are. It's okay. Embrace it (sound familiar?).  Friendships fade. Relationships don't always last. Don't you want to find a sustaining connection based on truths? It just seems like the better way to go.  It's almost as if people think hiding who they are is easier, but to me that seems like the more difficult road.  It leads to a bunch of bumps.  Reveling in your identity and letting other people see, I would presume, much more efficiently leads to truer, stronger friendships because what you see is what you get.  Be you; own it! Express yourself.

The Metaphorical Egg: Six Different Ways to Cook an Egg

It's time for a metaphor.  For a metaphor to work, it usually must be prevalent enough so people can relate and really immerse themselves within the metaphor--really accept it as a plausible comparison.  So, I'm going to make a point using a metaphor that is (obviously) the most relatable metaphor out there: Cooking eggs.

"What?" you say. What does that have to do with anything? Ah, allow me to explain.  Before I do, though, let me lay this out for you.

6 Ways to Cook an Egg

Upon doing some research, I found (supposedly) there are 101 different ways one can cook an egg.  How crazy is that?  It just makes me think who sits there all day and thinks about how you can cook an egg.  Instead of discussing all 101 ways, I just want to highlight 6 common approaches to cooking an egg.  I'm going to copy and paste the descriptions from a website--so the order and how they are describe aren't necessarily pertinent to the overarching theme.

Over-Easy

One side of the egg is cooked in a pan with oil or butter. When the side being cooked is done, the egg is flipped to enable the other side to cook for a few seconds. -- panlasangpinoy.com

Sunny-Side Up

This style lets only one side of the egg cook. The other side is slightly cooked by the heat below. The yolks are left in its liquid form. It was called as such because the appearance of the egg resembles the shape of the sun. --panlasangpinoy.com

Hard Boiled

A hard-boiled egg is a result of boiling egg for a long period of time. The egg is placed in boiling water and left there to cook for 12 minutes or more. This will result with eggs having hard whites and yolk. --palasangpinoy.com

Poached

Poaching eggs means bringing water to a boil. Once the water boils, it is reduced to a simmer. The egg is cracked and placed in simmering water, and cooked until the desired results are achieved. --palasangpinoy.com

Scrambled

Scrambled eggs are prepared by whisking eggs in a bowl along with some salt and pepper. The whisked egg is then fried in a pan. This style suggests constant stirring while the egg is starting to cook. As you all know, omelets are derived from scrambled eggs. --  palasangpinoy.com

Soft Boiled

Soft boiled is the opposite of hard-boiled. Using the same boiling method, eggs are place in boiling water and cooked for a short period of time. The egg white is slightly cooked leaving some parts liquid. It will also produce liquid egg yolks. --palasangpinoy.com

So, there you have it.  Six different ways to cook an egg.  Now I know what you're thinking (or can guess): "Okay, Robert, I see you like eggs, but what are you getting at here?"  Great question.

Cooking Eggs: It's All a Matter of Preference

I'm going to be honest, this topic arose in the shower. I was sitting there asking myself: What's the difference between the various ways one can cook an egg?  My conclusion: There is no difference.  At the end of the day, the way you cook an egg is based on personal preference.  Some people like different textures and thus cook eggs accordingly.  Some only know one way to cook and egg and just do that.  Interestingly, no matter what way you cook an egg (so long as were are speaking in terms of the full egg) at the end of the cooking it is still an egg.  Scrambled? Still an egg.  Poached? Still an egg. At the end of the day, undeniable the egg remains an egg.  The way you cook your egg may be different from the way I cook mine but that changes nothing to what it is--an egg.

And...?

Ready to get your mind blown? Thinking about cooking eggs from this perspective got me thinking about people.  Have you ever looked at the way someone does something and thought, "well, that's strange."  Maybe somebody washes his or her clothes differently from you.  Maybe he or she eats his or her sandwich without the crust instead of with crust.  Similarly to cooking an egg, that action is deep down the same as yours just with a different preference of "cooking" method.  We are so quick to judge people for doing things differently from us, but that's what makes life so interesting.  Everyone comes from different backgrounds and upbringings.  At the end of the day, we are all still people and all still do the same things.  Yes, we may do them in different manners, but that's no reason to judge or hate.  So what someone may prefer scrambled eggs while I prefer sunny side up (I like eggs any which way but hypothetically speaking), that person may find it equally strange that I like them scrambled.  Moreover, that's the egg that tastes best to them.  It's interesting how we often tend to feel a sense of entitlement to demean someone else for nothing other than the fact that they do things differently.

Obviously, not every method is effective.  I could decide that the best method for cooking eggs is in the sun, which could potentially leave them undercooked and unhealthy.  So yes, some people do things egregiously wrong.  I think those instances are overt enough.  What I'm talking about is something that happens on a more everyday basis.  It is much more common to see someone doing something differently instead of purely wrong.

At the end of the day, we are all composed of genetic makeup that labels us as humans, as people.  Like eggs, we have different means to our ends, but we all have the same ends.  Also like eggs, our means may lead us on different paths, but more times than not the path is just a path, not something that is necessarily right or wrong.

I'm just suggesting that next time you think someone is odd for doing something differently maybe you could do two things.  First, think about it from their perspective and realize they could say the same thing (and thus maybe it isn't so odd).  Secondly, be open.  Maybe you're stuck in a rut and have been eating only scrambled eggs your whole life.  You can try a poached egg, it won't kill you.  Heck, you might even like it.  If not, go right ahead back to scrambled eggs.  Someone does something for a reason.  It's the curiosity behind those reasons that keeps life interesting.  I don't like to keep a schedule, but rather I like to keep my to-do list in my head.  Am I weird? Possibly, but that's my preference, that's my style of cooking eggs.  Deep down, at the end of the day, we are more alike than we'd sometimes like to admit.  We could make things so much better if we realized this fact.

Have you cooked an egg today?

 

 

 

Car Struggles: How a Blown Engine Turned into a Positive

For the sake of variety, I know I need to circulate topics and not be so deep all of the time.  I'm sure this post may potentially turn into something deeper than intended but I am taking a momentary break from the thought provoking broad topics.

Update

This last week was fairly rough for me in many aspects.  While certain things I will choose not to publicly discuss, the crux of the difficulties came on Monday.  On my way back to Cincinnati after a brief weekend trip home, my car engine went KABOOM! I knew the car didn't have much time left, but I had been hoping I could squeeze out another few months from it (at least until I got myself established).  I had recently just gotten new tires and my dad just got a new hubcap on one to solve a air leaking problem.  The car was riding as smoothly as it had in months until around Bowling Green.  Suddenly, smoke start seeping out of my car's hood and emergency lights were blazing.  I knew something was going terribly wrong, but I tried to stay positive and reach the nearest exit.  Problematically, the nearest exit was 3+ miles away.  Eventually, I knew that reaching the exit was not plausible so I pulled off to the side of the road--right near a cornfield.  Talk about frustration.  I can smell the smoke inside my car, I'm not mechanically inclined, and I'm pretty much freaking out.  Fast forward, I find out my engine overheated and the price to replace it exceeding the value of the car.  I'm stuck in the middle of nowhere!  To top that off, I just put $50 of gas into it no more than twenty miles before the mishap.  As a recent college grad who is financially independent, this event and prognosis was tough to swallow.  I'm trying to save money so I can pay off loans, and now I knew I was going to be forced to spend money to find a new means of transportation.  The timing was not ideal.

Finding a car

Stuck with the task of finding a new (and by new I mean used and inexpensive) car, my week became very stressful.  From constant searches to failed calls to questions about legitimacy of vehicles, the week really wore on me and my family.  I realized a sad truth: it's really hard to trust anyone anymore.  I mean, eventually you have to dive in and trust things will work out, but deep down I felt apprehensive with each situation.

How was I supposed to truly know if a car was worth the price or not? Are people trying to rip me off because I'm young? Questions like these arose often. It's really tough to find a quality used car at an affordable price.

And then, there are scams.  Desperate, I took to Craig's list in hopes of possibly finding a deal.  Miraculously, I found two cars (both 2006 Honda's) for under $2,000 dollars.  They were clean, had pictures, had all the information necessary.  I thought I struck gold.  Quickly, I contacted both sellers in hopes to purchase one of the vehicles as soon as possible.  The first seller contacted me and gave me all of the information I was looking for (like why she was selling the car).  I was super pleased and beyond excited because it looked like things were going to work out.  The catch: the seller recently moved out of the country and had to ship the car. This brought skepticism but I didn't want to lose all hope, so I responded by asking about the shipping process.  She responded fairly quickly to tell me she wanted to do it through Ebay Motors (a legitimate site) so we had a neutral third party and could get a fair, square deal.  My apprehension began to wane as I read the email, which detailed out the process that including her not getting my money if I disapproved of the car.  DREAM COME TRUE! All I needed to do was wait for Ebay to start the process.  About an hour later, I received two emails from Ebay Motors to start the deal.  I was happy, my family was happy--how blessed.  Now, if you don't know this already, I can be pretty meticulous and skeptical.  So, although I was ecstatic, I wanted to maintain a level head and make sure everything checked out before proceeding.  As I mentioned before, Ebay Motors is a real thing.  They have a certified protection plan and everything.  However, the gif of Ebay Motors on the email I received seemed oddly pixelated.  Furthermore, the email address was Ebaymotors@xxxxxx and not @ebay.  So, I decided to do some research.  That's when I found out, unfortunately, about a scam run through Craig's List.  The email asked me to start the transaction by wiring the money to an agent at Western Union, which Ebay overtly states is not associated with their site and should never be used.  Heartbroken, I emailed the "seller" and told her I could not proceed with the transaction and good luck scamming others.  Momma didn't raise no fool!

Bigger Picture

To recap, this whole situation had many, many lows.  Many stressful moments.  Many uncertainties. Many negatives. It casted a shadow of darkness that attempted to circumscribe my world.  Interestingly, as they say, you need the darkness to see the light.  I have to admit through the rough patches (which admittedly in the grand scheme of things were trivial) I was continuously surprised by the positives that could be found from the situation.  Dazed and confused on the freeway, a state trooper with mechanical expertise stopped and helped diagnose my vehicle.  He then recommended a towing service. The towing service ended up being a blessing.  The place looked straight out of a Andy Griffith episode.  They told me that my car was down for the count, but didn't try to persuade me to spend money fixing it.  They offered suggestions for finding vehicles; they let me keep the car there free of charge and are currently looking to salvage it and will send me the money; they were genuinely caring and kind people.  It was amazing goodness among the badness.

Yes, the process was difficult, but so many people willingly helped.  Aunts, uncles, cousins, friends all reached out to me and willingly offered help in any way possible.  My dad called, searched, and researched every step of the way.  My brother asked work mates and attempted to find the best solution.  My mom came straight from work to pick me up in Ohio, and then asked around for help and worried constantly for me.  My sister offered her ears.  People were constantly trying to help and it was awe-inspiring.  Truly.  I even had family members who are more mechanically inclined offer to come check out cars with me to ensure I got the best car possible.  Plus, a mechanic who was making no money off of it offered his advice on various cars I looked at.  People really stepped up and genuinely tried to help.

Final Thoughts

I could spend much more space relaying the various ways people aided me in this process, but I think the point is profound and made.   It's interesting how profound this help seemed because I'm inclined to believe that this help is always there.  We just sometimes don't notice it because we either take it for granted or don't necessarily feel we need it.  At the end of the day, people can be trusted, they do care, and they are willing.  We shouldn't take advantage of others' generosity but we should realize that people are innately good.  Instead, we should concentrate on realizing, recognizing, and appreciating the innate goodness of those surrounding us.  Yes, there are bad people out there, but not everyone is bad. The darkness illuminates this light, but the light remains regardless of the situation.  Cherish this goodness and spread it.

Thank you everyone who helped me though this situation.  It is recognized and truly appreciated.  Life happens; it is comforting to know that people are there to help along the way.

--Robert L. Lisiecki

The Pursuit: The Logical Nature of Happiness

So, I started a different topic, but decided that it needs more time to develop before I fully flesh it out.  Plus, in the mean time, I have since thought of other things to discuss.  I think today’s topic will work as a great segue into a different discussion, which will be nice for the flow of things.

For Starters: Semi-Truths 

I tend to believe that while maybe absolutes don’t exist, certain semi-truths do.  For many of these semi-truths, we tend to forget about them in the midst of life’s whirlwind.  Since we tend to forget about certain things over time, I think it is potentially positively impactful if we can be reminded about said semi-truths over time.

I’d like to quickly qualify why I am labeling items as semi-truths and not absolutes.  I have a tough time accepting something as an absolute, something that is purely certain, because life tends to through so much variation our way that it doesn’t really allow anything to remain certain through and through.  Thinking about it though a statistical point of view, it’s rare to see anything have a 100% success rate, and I think life follows a similar path.  Thus, I’d argue certain things are semi-truths in that they normally follow a certain pattern, but obviously can’t account for all the caveats life throws in the way.

Binaries and the easy way out 

I have always been intrigued by the dichotomy of happiness/sadness or even optimism/pessimism.  Admittedly, for a long time pessimism has permeated my life.  It has always seemed like the easier path.  Think about it: It’s seemingly the ultimate win-win situation.  If you look at life through a negative lens, where you expect the worst out of people or situations, you are seemingly guaranteeing two things.  One, if your prediction or forecast comes true, you won’t face disappointment because it’s what you expected; you’re prepared for it.  Secondly, if the situation ends up better than you surmised, a sense of satisfaction overcomes you because it exceeds expectations.  Even if in the grand scheme of things the situation isn’t that great, you perceive it to be a win because you didn’t expect or hope for much to begin with.

Optimism and happiness, and pessimism and sadness, appear to be connected but arguably only to an extent.  When one thinks of an optimistic person, he or she would most likely think of a happy individual who sees the best in ever person or every situation.  On the other one, that same person could view a pessimist as someone perpetually sad because of his or her glum outlook on life.  Yes, the optimist usually has a happier aura while the pessimist carries a heavier sadness, but one must pay attention to key words in the definitions. In the definition of both words, hopefulness or belief is used.  So, it isn’t necessarily a feeling one exhibits rather a prediction, of sorts.  While the optimist may find the positives in a situation, it doesn’t always guarantee they will experience happiness.  Conversely to the aforementioned pessimist, the optimist could potentially find disappointing when the situation does not meet or drastically fails to meet his or her expectations.

Since I’ve established the fine line walked when discussing optimism and pessimism, I’d like to dismiss those words for the rest of this piece and disassociate them with happiness and sadness.  Instead, I’d like to make a pitch for the existence of a semi-truth that we have a choice between the happy/sad binary.

The Emotional Side: We are animals

It’s important to recognize that happiness and sadness, innately, are emotions.  Emotions are natural and reactive.  Many times, we cannot necessarily control them for they overcome us without any rationale.  Emotions, pure and raw, are really animalistic qualities that connect us to the other creatures traversing this earth.  So, I get it, emotions can’t necessarily be controlled. The beauty of our human nature, though, and what helps separate us from other animals is our rationale (our ability to think with reason).

How It's Our Choice

Rationality and perspective can play a major role in our decisiveness.  I believe they can also help manage the powerful emotions we experience.  While certain feelings tend to magically creep in, as we react, our thoughts can help stop the emotions or even control them.  I know I said I didn’t want to talk about optimism or pessimism anymore, but allow me to briefly be a hypocrite.  Think about it from this end, optimism and pessimism are not emotions they are choices.  Someone chooses to think positively or negatively about an outlook; that person does not naturally.  Similarly, we have the ability and power to choose between being happy or sad.

We choose whether to perceive the positives or the negatives of a situation.  This example is a little rough to think about, but think about the death of a loved one.  At the funeral, don’t they always tend to preach not to cry about what was lost but rejoice and remember the positive impact of the individual’s existence?  It’s kind of similar with various life situations.  We have the choice to mourn over a loss or rejoice over the gain.  I’m not going to lie, I keep think of examples to write down to exemplify what I’m saying, but there are way too many because it relates to everyday life.  Plus, if I say an example one could jump to many conclusions right away, and I think explaining my thought process will clarify things much more easily.

Each situation and each person we encounter is going to have pros and cons, good things and bad things; however, we can choose what to get out of the situation or person.  If one chooses the bad things and chooses to be sad, what good does that do?  For one, you cannot change the person or the situation.  It’s often hard for us to admit, but what is done is done.  Even if it is a crappy situation or something terrible happened, you can’t change what happened.  Then harping over it or being sad not only affects the rest of your day or future situations, it can negatively affect those around you.  So, instead of enduring something and moving on, you allow it to build into something much worse and of a much greater magnitude for no real reason.  Seriously, yes at first you mad get super upset and say this sucks, but continuing that mantra makes no LOGICAL sense. 

Instead, why not endure the situation and not let it ruin the rest of your hour, day, week, month, year, etc.  Take the situation and control it.  Okay, things didn’t’ go as planned, but at this point it is out of your control.  Try to find something that will make you say, “hey it will be okay; we’ll get through this.”  Converse to choosing sadness, choosing happiness can allow you to enjoy what ensues as well as allow others to enjoy life too.  Again, the situation is in stone, you can’t control it.  But if you think negatively, you run the risk of ruining other things while if you try to stay positive maybe a solution can be found (if the situation was poor).  Plus, think about it this way: don’t you find life more enjoyable when you’re happy?  Why would you consciously want to be anything else?

It's a Fight 

I’ll admit, constantly choosing happiness is tough.  Believe me.  I mean, for one, you can’t control natural law and the randomness life brings, which can get really frustrating.  You also can’t control people.  Some days, the pressures of life to succeed and be amazing can be overwhelming, but EVERYONE deals with life’s traps.  Maybe not everyone admits it and maybe it’s hard to see, but you must realize that we all have troubles.  Some are worse than others, yes, but each situation is different.  Normally, sweeping generalizations are not a good thing, but I believe this one is true.  So, yes, I get it.  If life seems to always drag you down, it’s hard to choose happiness.  But do you think you’re the only person who faces such difficulties? Could it possibly be your attitude or choice on how to perceive these difficulties?  I think I’ve faced that difficulty many times, but when I’ve choose to be happy or stay happy, my life has been the most fulfilling.  Instead of being dragged down by uncertainties, failures, or sadness we can choose to rise up to the challenge and say this is my life and I will keep fighting for it.  You may not be able to control certain things, but at the very least you can control the rational thought to stay happy.  Doing so can allow you to face adversities with a high head.  It will allow you to keep a group of people (because people want to be around positively) which will give you a support system for the tough times, etc.  I just think happiness is worth the choice and the fight.  And, maybe optimistically, I hope that in choosing happiness it will allow us to fight for a better tomorrow for ourselves, and others, and will thus lead to better things.

Final Thoughts: Clarification 

I must quickly qualify that I’m not suggesting one should immerse in blind happiness or blind optimism (going back to that word).  Doing so is dangerous.  It’s like with pain: People who cannot feel pain are at danger because it’s a warning from our body that harm is being done.  Similarly, if we decide to turn our cheeks to everything and blindly be happy or optimistic, it can be just as disastrous as staying purely negative.  What I am suggesting, though, is that every situation is going to have some random mixture of good and bad.  Being dragged down by negatively will do nothing to fix a situation.  We can recognize the poison, but submitting ourselves to it will destroy us.  If we recognize it is there and decide to walk away from it, it affords us the opportunity to find a cure.  There are 6.97 billion people on this planet. I know at times you feel lonely, but you’re not alone. The person next to you struggles to, but by choosing to be happy we can fix our broken souls.  Have a happy day!