Is Being Selfish a Good Thing? It Just Might Be!

Hello, friends. I just realized it has been over a year since my last post. Can you believe it? I know I sure cannot believe that is the case. I wish I could say it was a simple hibernation from writing, but I'm not sure how rested I feel.

I'm not sure where my trail fell off, but I had been writing because it was cathartic for me. I guess it's time for more therapy through writing.

Today I'd like to think about selfishness verse selflessness, which has been a subject matter on my mind over the last week or so after watching the movie About Time (thanks Seth). I won't get too much into detail about that movie, but I will say one of the central themes, one of the central examinations, was selfishness verse selflessness on a very personal level.

If you've read my writing before, I usual like to qualify my notions and tell you about the multiple angles from which you can attack multiple subjects. Well, this one is no different. Thinking about this subject from a personal level rather than a broader perspective really creates a context of thought. Normally, we think of being selfish as a negative and being selfless as a positive. It's not so simple on a personal level, though.

Simplifying the movie to its core reality, a viewer would (or at least I did) realize the main character is constantly toeing the line between improving his life through selfishness - and by selfishness I mean doing something that directly benefits his own life while ignoring others' predicaments - and improving others' lives through selflessness - doing something that directly benefits others' lives while ignoring his own life. The thesis seems to be that situational you can do one or the other, but not both. When the main character decides to be selfish someone else's life turns sour, but when he decides to use his powers (time travel) to instead help someone else, while originally thinking he could impact multiple outcomes, he loses out in the end. 

It spoke to me because I often struggle with being selfish. It always feels dirty to me. Makes me feel icky, if you will. But I think this movie shows, which I guess should be obvious, that you need to be selfish at times to achieve the life you want. Sometimes you have to place yourself first or you lose out on life. It's kind of economical in a way. You have to really consider the investment and the return on investment. Maybe that's a cold way to look at things, but isn't that how life tends to work? We make many of our choices based on return of investment, whether it stems from logic or emotion. You go to college to get the return of employment. You ask out someone to feel love. You know, stuff like that. Great examples, right?

It may seem like you should always be selfish, you know, to attain the life you want. I don't think that's necessarily true or fair. Selfishness eventually catches up to you and has great negative potential. If the main character wouldn't have made some selfless choices, he would have missed out on some great gains in his life. I think the point is like with many things, there must be balance. I don't know if you have to analyze each situation as my instinct might tell me, but there are certain times when you need to do it for you and then try to help others as best as you can.

It's impossible to help everyone. It's impossible to make everyone happy. At least, I'm fairly sure it's impossible. And 50 percent of the time I'm fairly sure I'm 100 percent sure. So, there's that. 

New Year; New You. Probably not. We are who we are, mostly. But, with this new year, maybe it's time to allow you to be you and make some more choices that get you closer to your dreams. Take some times to be selfish for your own good. But never forget your friends and family, you'll always need them. That kind of sounded preachy, sorry.

I'd encourage you to watch the movie and think about it. I'd love to discuss. 

Talk soon.

Robert