Anywho, I verbalized this thought, concisely, to a friend today. I've decided that I've been failing at failing, and it's something that has really started to bug me.
"Failing at failing? What ever could you be talking about?!" Well, I'm certainly glad you asked! Allow me to explain.
As many of you probably know, one of my biggest fears is failing. As I've discussed in the past, though, failing isn't and shouldn't be considered a bad thing. Certain type of failing, anyways. I haven't done a good enough job lately of putting myself in a position to fail. I have failed to give myself a chance to fail.
While at first you might think that's a good thing. I mean, who REALLY wants to fail? Thinking about it, though, doing so is preventing me from reaching greater heights. Many times (saying many times so I don't generalize), putting yourself in a position to fail means you're giving yourself a chance to succeed, to reach a goal, or to gain.
It's like the whole light and darkness binary--just as you need darkness to appreciate light, you need failure to appreciate success. By failing to fail, I'm trying to stay in the light, which is leaving me stuck with blindness in the maze that is life.
The crazy thing about this failure is that I've found I've flourished most when put in a situation where I could fail. For instance, when I was in high school, I randomly participated in a dance contest while waiting to get signatures from a few musicians. Was I nervous? Hell yes. Was there a chance I'd lose or embarrass myself? Hell yes. I ended up putting myself in a position to fail, and I succeeded. I not only won the contest, but I also got to do the worm for the musicians, and my brother and I were personally invited to the concert. Staying safe wouldn't have afforded me those opportunities.
Honestly, putting myself in a position to fail isn't too scary once I do it. While I'm scared of failure, I usually use failure to learn and grow. The hardest part for me is positioning myself. It's odd really.
I came up with a simile that makes a lot sense to me. Putting myself in a position to fail is like getting out of bed. I sometimes find that it's really tough to get out of bed in the morning sometimes. The snooze button is such a whore, always wanting to be touched. I'm fine once I get out of bed. I'll wake up and be ready for the day. It's just so much more comfortable in the bed. I know getting out of bed will help me start the day and get me moving, but it's sometimes difficult. Similarly, I find many times I stay in my bed of safety even though I know deep down stepping out of the bed and into the position of possible failure is the better choice.
The worst part about all of this problem is that it's so easy to fix--in theory. JUST GET OUT OF THE FUCKING BED, ROBERT. When I think about it, it's easy, but I freeze too often, and it irks me. The only real way to fix it, though, is to get out of the bed.
Maybe I just need to take baby steps, maybe I need to write myself a note that says, "Did you fail today?", or maybe I just need to jump. I'm sure what my solution is, but I'm sure tired of it bugging me.
Let's think about it here. Are you putting yourself in a position to fail (as scary as that sounds)? Are you giving yourself the chance to reach your goals, to find happiness, to live? Sure you're positioning yourself to fail, but it's not a guaranteed failure. You can only eat ramen for so long.
It's time I take a step back and figure out where I want my life to go and where I need to reposition myself, and I encourage you to join me. Nerves will kick in and you may get nervous, but the results will be worth it. You'll learn, you'll grow, you'll succeed. No more failing at failing.
Let's get out of bed.
No comments:
Post a Comment