Wait; that's not true. Is it really killing relationships? I really don't think that's the case. Well, not in a sweeping generalization sort of way. Can it kill relationships? Duh. But so can many other things.
While some may hold a disdain for technology, it certainly helps maintain relationships. Staying in touch with friends and distant family members would be much more difficult (though still doable) without the advancements in technology. As with most things, though, it's all about moderation.
While I'd argue that technology doesn't quite kill relationships, I'd argue that you can't originate or grow a relationship through it. Doing so isn't organic--it's robotic (see what I did there!). I'm specifically considering technology in the form of textual communications.
Let's break it down:
For relationships, I'm talking about both friendships and intimacies (and not acquaintances), you need vulnerability. Vulnerability is the fertilizer for any successful relationship. With vulnerability comes trust; you can't have trust without it.
Vulnerability is essential. You need real human interaction, though, for it to truly exist. You need to have that moment of fear, or inhibition, or oh shit did I really just say that? You need to present your reality and not your ideology.
With things like text messaging, Facebook chats, and dating sites, we can't truly get to know someone. The relationships that originate from those devices can't be sustained. They don't have the vulnerability.
Sure, you can spill your guts to someone or they cant tell you their life stories, but it's a farce. We think we're breaking down walls and getting to know someone but instead we're getting thought-out calculations. When you develop a relationship over text, you fall into the false illusion that your breaking down a wall. Instead, you're taking out bricks and getting a small peak into the inside.
When we finally meet face-to-face, the reality of this wall's existence smacks us as we run full-force to breach the borders. While textual communications give us insights, it simultaneously almost add an additional wall, or a barrier. Suddenly, when communication is live, the barrier is gone and things get weird (and not in a good way).
Interaction must be quick, before this false sense of security takes over. If you meet someone briefly and find yourself communicating via texts, that doesn't mean it's destined to fail. I'm merely suggesting we need more realistic conversations and interactions sooner than later. A foundation can't be built with barriers--let the barriers come later, if they must at all.
The goal in many of our lives is to find a partner, right? Well, how can you truly find a partner if you speak from afar? Even if you fall in love with who they are through text, it sets up an even harder journey. Breaking those walls to build your own foundation becomes much more difficult.
Just a thought.
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