Do you ever approach a new year and reflect on the previous new year? Do you ever think about how the new year has become somewhat trite as it begins a new, yet unchanging cycle?
This year, I'm going to be happier. This year, I'm going to lose weight. This year, I'm finally going to make that move. This year, I'm going to be a better person. This year, I'm going to fall in love--or at least fall in like.
We seem to constantly set these incredibly ambitious goals with our sights on the end instead of the means. We tend to neglect the path and think about the gratification of achievement. We intend to reach the peak but we don't consider the climb. The new year season is a season of hypotheticals. Problematically, hypotheticals don't usual turn into realities.
I posit that if we were to reach for the stepping stones rather than the end goals, we'd reach our end goals more consistently. We need to position ourselves to succeed rather than merely hoping/wishing we'll succeed.
Instead of saying you're going to lose weight, say you're going to go to the gym once a week. Then go to the gym once a week, then twice, then three times.
Instead of saying you're going to get a job, say you're going to find one place to apply to every day. Say you're going to talk to one person a day and inquire. Say you're going to do something each day to make someone want to hire you. Don't just desire that job, put yourself into the position for a job.
Instead of saying you're going to fall in love, be more social. Do things to meet new people. Throw yourself out there. Why won't people like you? Why do other people have what you want? They go for it. You don't just get to love; it's a process.
Instead of saying you're going to do better at school, say you're going to study an extra hour each week without distraction. Heck, even an extra half an hour. Let yourself accomplish that and see the difference it makes.
Etc. Etc. Etc.
Instead of making seemingly defined but actually vague goals, shoot for tangibility. Shoot for ways to get you in position. We can't leap from A to Z. It takes steps. Successful people don't reach success over night. They work at it constantly.
Payton Manning and Tom Brady haven't sustained success by constantly throwing deep balls and going for the instant score. They've sustained success by working at getting first downs and moving towards the endzone. Perfecting their craft.
Similarly, we need to have our goals be to get the first down.
I'll be honest, I often consider myself a hopeless romantic. I perpetually wish for and desire real connection. But I never feel it and I never have it. I yearn for companionship. I'll see other people who are happy and wonder why not me? My problem? I want to fall in love but I haven't positioned myself to succeed. I haven't thought about the process. Instead, I've neglected it.
I haven't thrown myself out there. I get in the situation and stay standing. How can I complain when I don't help myself out? I'm consumed by thoughts of failure or even worse, success. But yet I still wish/hope/yearn for it.
At the end of the day, if you want to change something this new year you can. You don't need a new years resolution to do so, though. You have the power. We have the power. It's a matter of how we approach this change. It's a matter of how much you really want it as opposed to how much you want other people to think you want it. Talk is cheap. Life isn't going to just hand out the rewards (for most of us). If you truly want to achieve a goal, prove it. Take the necessary steps and position yourself for success. Be what you want to be. Do what you want to do.
I believe in you.
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