Loneliness and Sadness: Breaking the Silence

Remember how I said last time I needed to start writing more frequently again and stop making excuses? So much for that. I think I can, I think I can, I think...

While my consistency isn't what is once was, my thoughts are as countless as ever. Today, I'd like to talk about loneliness and sadness.

That's right; I said loneliness and sadness. Oh snap!

How DARE I mention those two words. We aren't supposed to talk about those words. We're supposed to be happy. We're supposed to have everything figured out. We're supposed to be strong. Society says we're NOT supposed to be weak.

Here's the deal: I think it's about time we stop letting society dictate what we can or cannot do. I think it's time we start dictating what society can or cannot do. I mean, we are kind of society after all.

I'm not sure about you, but I've always felt like there's an unwritten rule about loneliness and sadness. Heck, it's probably a written and verbalized rule. I've always felt like talking about such notions is a cause for shunning. Doing so makes you weak, and nobody likes someone who is weak. Right?

I feel like this notion has been passed on from person to person, and it's slowly become this cantankerous albatross that weighs down on our voice boxes. We become silent. In this silence, our sadness and loneliness is amplified as our sense are ever so aware of their growing presence. The presence attaches itself like a leach--feeding off out weakening sprits. As it feeds, we lose the ability to speak up or fight back. The silence grows louder but no one can hear.

It's time to fight back. It doesn't need to be like that. Our room doesn't need to be empty. In fact, I think this room is fuller than we realize but we've forgotten our lights (our voices) and we've been missing the people staring us in the face all along.

I can't speak for everyone, but through experience I've gathered that we've all gone through and we all go through shit.  Some people's shit might stink more than other's, but the fact is we all have burdens that weigh on us. Furthermore, I whole-heartedly believe that (here comes the sweeping generalization) experiences loneliness and sadness at some point. E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E.

I don't think simply saying that you should get over your loneliness or sadness. It doesn't work like that. I think it'd be unfair to say, "Since everyone experiences loneliness or sadness at some point to some degree, you should just get over and stop feeling sorry for yourself because you're not the only one dealing with it."

Wrong. So, so, so wrong.  Instead, I think we need to start verbalizing this loneliness or sadness more freely. I honestly think doing so could accomplish more than we think.  For one, I've found that people are more likely to open up when you open up, and they generally can empathize to some degree. Secondly, it would help bury the stigma that these type of feelings or emotions are for the weak. We're all weak at some point.

I think people are better than we give them credit for. Friends genuinely care and are usually willing to help. Maybe they're not the best at helping, but I think they genuinely would want to try. It's much easier to find your way out of the darkness when you have help searching for the light switch.

College students are flooding counseling centers. People are increasingly stressed, anxious, and depressed for a variety of reasons. Many are willing to talk to "professionals" but isn't it time we start talking to our peers?

Opening up and trusting people to help isn't going to solve the problems. It may not cure your sadness or loneliness (though it could); however, it can at least lift some weight and let you know that it's okay to feel how you're feeling and you're not alone. You're never as alone as you think you are. Never.

I strongly believe that for every one person who isn't willing to listen or doesn't care or wants to belittle you for your feelings there are ten others willing to listen or offer help. I have a feeling many of those who won't help are struggling to ask for help themselves. I lost many friends over the years -- I've noticed people come and go often -- but I've noticed that there's always someone else to be found, to be befriended, or to talk to.

I think we're all kind of alone, and maybe we could all use each other. Isn't it time? It's time to remove the leach.

I'm a little rusty with my writing; so, I'm going to end it with the help of a friend's poem:
if you ever feel alone,
then you are not alone.
lonely is the world
‘n the lonely are right at home.