First thing's first..
Before I get into my main reflection, I'd like to quickly take a step back and try to look at the bigger picture--how awe-inspiring, heartbreaking, and unknown a story like Zach's is. SoulPancake has a channel where they follow people in their final days, showing the world their thoughts, trials, and tribulations. While Zach's story undoubtedly carries a certain uniqueness about it since everyone's circumstances maintain their own variables, I think it is important to note and consider the numerous of individuals that endure similar fates. It is easy to not believe in something or not think about a situation when it isn't presented directly to you, but I'd surmise that many people have a story similar to Zach's; not everyone has the privilege to share his or her story, though. Given the limited visibility to terminally ill individuals and their families (not to say we'd like to constantly immerse ourselves in this constant heartbreak), I will say Zach makes the most of this opportunity to strike a chord with most who will view it.Calm within the Chaos
While the entire video is worth a watch, and the whole story is worth reflection, one aspect of the video sparked my contemplative nature: his relationship with Amy, the girl he began dating after knowing he was terminally ill. Initial reaction: Wow, that's dedication and mettle. For someone to put himself or herself in a situation where emotions can get tangled while knowing that the relationship won't last because of impending death is either an exemplification of idiocy or the innate goodness of human nature. Either way, their relationship was indubitably striking to me. They reveal how in love they are, how they talk about marriage (even contemplated tying the knot), and even how many kids they want. Zach even mentions how he will literally love Amy until death. These words are usually uttered when two become one through marriage, but especially in today's society they often fall flat. Because of the reality of his terminal illness, his prognosis of love remains undeniably true. She seemingly feels the same way about her love for him (although arguably somewhat conversely). It's easily discernible from the video that they share a deep connection.
Love without Future Pressure?
I'm now about to potentially sound cynical but bare with me because it leads to something, I promise.After hearing about their fortified love for each other, which isn't too difficult to accept when considering the extreme highs and lows they must have gone through, it got me thinking. I instantly began to wonder if it is easier for them to love so completely, so fully than other couples. I am not here trying to dilute their love for each other--many teens claim to love each other, speak of marriage, or even get married. My point is, though, they have no real pressure when it comes to their love. Since they know the ultimate prognosis, what can they do but love completely? They don't have time to worry about future struggles or present arbitrary scuffles. With such little time remaining, they don't have time for the petty stuff. Instead, happy thoughts, dreams, and living within their precious moments together remains. It wouldn't make much sense to let poisonous thoughts creep in--the reality is cemented, it can't be changed, which would plausibly make everything else seem insubstantial. While above I say their fortitude is acceptable, this scapegoat (not excuse, rather tragic freedom from the future) made me somewhat question the validity of their fortitude. Would they love so fully if his prognosis was different? Would they commit so completely if he were healthy? Unfortunately, for their sake, these questions will not be answered. It'd be much better if they had more qualms about their future because that would mean he is healthy and they have a future to fret about; however, it is simply not the case. While we cannot truly know for sure how their love would fluctuate when facing hypothetical adversities, I believe a lesson can and should be taken from their love for each other (heck, how much more adverse situation can one be placed in?).
Inspiring Us to Love Fully
I wonder why we cannot love each other in the way Zach and Amy do or even Zach's family does. It shouldn't take tragedy or impending tragedy for us to start loving completely or appreciating the people in our lives. We often get so caught up worrying about the past or future that we forget about the present--a gift of the here and now that many people like Zach aren't afforded. Trivial quibbles detract from the bigger picture. We often let arbitrary arguments, our pride, fears, our inability to sympathize or empathize, etc. get in the way of our relationships. For Zach, his family, and Amy, they didn't have time for those things. While they presumably had fights, they took advantage of each day with each other to love. My simple question is: why can't we do the same? Why can't we give ourselves completely to others within the moment and thus control what we can control--the here and now.The past is forever written, the future is unpredictable, but the present is in front of us.
So often a relationship severs for juvenile reasons. So often people feel the person is simply not enough. This ineptitude may be the case for some; however, I can't help but wonder if relationships would turn out differently if we expressed a similar kind of love, commitment, and passion for life that Zach and Amy present. In writing these words, I am not saying that you should instantly fall in love with the first person or with every person you meet. I don't believe that is the case. I am also not implying giving yourself completely means doing every possible thing to make someone else happy even if it goes against your morals, ethics, or own personal health. Zach and Amy started the relationship (even though he was already diagnosed) based on the question: Would you date if he was healthy? I'd venture to say they didn't love each other instantly. Amy had no obligation to stick around just because he was sick. Over time and by realizing the preciousness of time, they were able to develop an arguably precocious love. So, I don't think we all need to fall head-over-heals instantaneously, but I think we can lean a lesson from these two in giving ourselves fully and unselfishly to that other person who strikes the chord. They could have ended it early, they could have made questionable decisions (like doing drugs, have kids, taking risks), but instead they found each other and thrived within each other. They enjoyed life, lived each day with purpose, and communicated their thoughts, dreams, and feelings with each other. I think we owe it to people like them, and even ourselves, to emulate this kind of love and commitment. Embrace the moment.
Final Thought
Letting go of superfluous desires allows this happiness to shield the constant hovering of pain brought by this impending fatality. In the video, while everyone is saddened by what is to come, the love shared allows for a present and all-encompassing happiness. This encapsulating bubble of love is formed when outside influences are neglected. Selfishness becomes selfishness and a metamorphosis occurs, transforming parts into a whole. We have the ability to share a love we dreamt never possibly; I tend to feel Zach and Amy found a way to find this love. Similarly, I optimistically feel that this situation allowed his family and friends to find the key as well. While tragedy certainly illuminates the importance of love, if we can learn to love before it's too late, we can live truly fulfilling lives.
Here is the song "Clouds" Zach wrote to everyone so they could remember him; this version from celebrities lip-synching with his original.
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