School: What a Jerk

While perusing Facebook and Twitter today, researching companies for my work, I ran across a post that read something along the lines of, "School prevents me from having a life." My gut reaction was to roll my eyes.  Then, I thought about how many times I've heard that line, or a similar line before, and how many times I read it nearly daily.  Not only do people complain, presumably sometimes tongue in cheek, that school ruins their lives but I'm pretty sure it's too difficult, it asks for too much, etc.  Considering these qualms and complaints, and the volumes of them, made me wonder if it's true.

Let's discuss...

First let's talk about the statement, "School prevents me from having a life."  We must begin by defining "life." Obviously, the individual did not literally mean life, so I'll work under the presumption s(he) was referring to a social life. Okay, fair enough.  Sure, school keeps you busy so you don't have time on the weekdays to do much more than study or participate an extracurricular (IF you even have time for that).

But wait.

Isn't school the reason you have a social life to begin with? Didn't your first friends because of school? Didn't you learn how to socialize with others in a school setting? How dare they make you learn to function, or try to function, in the social world. Jerks. Without school, it's hard to say what kind of social life you'd have to begin with.  Sure, you meet kids at daycares and learn some social skills there, but is it really the same? You might learn to play with kids, cool, but what else? If you can speak with someone on an intellectual level it runs the conversation dry.  One can only build so many legos.

Well, elementary and middle school weren't tough.  Plus, I didn't have a need for a social life. Now that I'm in high school/college, school just gets in the way.

Life is just too tough, isn't it? Being afforded the opportunity to get an education, what a drag.  Again, you gain a social life through school.  You want to hang out with your high school/college friends, yet they wouldn't exist if you never went to school.  Want a social life instead of school? Fine, drop out.  Good luck supporting yourself, though. You'll just get a job at McDonalds? That's a helluva a life to shoot for. School is a necessity. Is a time consuming necessity? Yes. But put it in perspective. You know what comes after school? Work. At work, you don't get snow days, spring breaks, summer vacation (sans teachers), etc. You work and work and work and work. And depending on your job, you just may have "homework" to do to get paid. Can't live without that green. Furthermore, guessing such people are between 16-20 (as many 21/22 year olds realize they'll miss that meandering thing called school)..you have PLENTY of time to not have school.  You're barely statistically a quarter way through your life, if that.

Okay, but why do we have to take such difficult classes or classes we don't want to take?
Cliche time: Life isn't easy. It never way, never is, and never will be. It's a challenge; a wonderfully frustrating but ultimately satisfying challenge. You want to complain about school? Go talk to a homeless person struggling to find his or her next meal. You think they'd like to switch with you right now? These classes are there to shape you into a tougher person who can face adversity and not end up on the streets. These tough classes are there to push you to open your horizons and see the world from a broader scope.  These class are there to help you find your strengths and your weaknesses, and to help you find what you like.  These classes are there to help shape your life.  Did I enjoy taking history classes? No. But it helped me understand that I wasn't meant to be a historian.

People who succeed aren't successful merely because of skill.  They work hard everyday to achieve their goals--regardless if the work is easy or not.

Is college expensive? Yes it is. But how many people do you know don't get nostalgic when reminiscing about their college years? How many people do you know who have good jobs yet didn't get to college? I'd wager not too many.  We live in a world of instantaneous gratification--I want it now.  Don't stay the course, stay YOUR course and wait for the more satisfying gratification.  People want to blow off high school or college now to live, but I can guarantee you being able to live a gratifying life in your adult years will be much more impacting and lasting than having great teenage years.  Do you really want to live paycheck to paycheck, but say, "hey, my teens, those were the times"? I certainly hope not.  You have a great opportunity to not only impact your life but others. Take it.

Martin-Incognito: A Mess that Spills Over into Society

I'm always looking for new topics to blog about though, truthfully, I shouldn't ever run out of ideas because each day presents something absolutely fascinating.  The other day, a friend suggested that I write about the whole Jonathan Martin-Richie Incognito ordeal.  As I told him, I think this situation is so incredibly interesting yet equally messy.

If you, by chance, don't know what's going on you can search the Internet and find no dearth of articles.  Problematically, while an investigation is currently underway we still don't have the hard facts.  Situations like this one can be sticky because it often comes down to he said she said (or in this case he said he said).  Here's what we do know for certain: Jonathan Martin has left his team, Richie Incognito has been indefinitely suspended, both are looking for justice and vindication, and both have supporters. What makes this case so interesting: Jonathan Martin claims he was bullied by multiple teammates but the main focus is on Incognito, rumors have circulated Martin was lazy and didn't show much work ethic, Incognito is an undeniable d-bag, and many teammates have come to Incognito's side.

When analyzing this situation, I don't see how one can OBJECTIVELY say one person is more wrong than the other.  From the various stories and tidbits percolating the interweb, it's hard to side with either person.  Jonathan Martin is being painted as a wussy by some folks and as a role model by others.  The big issues I have with him, based on what I've heard, is that 1) teammates have said that Martin had the main piece of evidence in question (a voicemail from Incognito that poses death threats and uses obscene and defamatory words) for a while and laughed about it, but now suddenly it's a problem, 2) he's acting like he's the first person to go through hazing in the NFL, 3) it's certainly strange that his own teammates, generally speaking, aren't backing him (makes me wonder if this coup is a copout).  On the flip side, how could I or anyone really side with Incognito? 1) He's recorded saying these words, 2) I've heard stories ranging from him prodding a woman on a golf course with his club to demeaning staff members, 3) before this story broke out I knew him as the lineman who was always picking fights.  The guy is an awful person. Period.

I really want to wait until the investigators reveal more information until jumping to conclusions.  I think this situation plays out one of two ways: either Incognito gets the hammer dropped on him and is made an example for NFL locker rooms or Incognito gets acquitted of the accusations, gets his grievance, and Martin has a tough time latching on with a team.

While the overall situation is interesting, I think it's prevalent in more ways than just football; it highlights a lot of issues with our society today.

Media, Privacy, and Bullying
NOTHING IS PRIVATE ANYMORE.  Privacy is virtually non-existant. I really don't think this situation is the first time a problem like this has arisen in an NFL locker room.  In the past, though, it's remained in-house and dealt with privately.  Many folks within the Dolphins organization are irked and vexed that Martin took it outside the "family."  We don't believe in private matters--with the convenience of sharing everything from our food to our pets to how many breaths we took in the last minute instantly, it's like everyone knows everything about everyone.  It's super strange but how our world works now.  I think this lack of privacy or secrecy really hinders relationships as often people have nothing to share with one another in person and thus have no reason to interact physically (but that's a whole different issue).

If we weren't bad enough, the media takes it to a whole new level.  I believe I've said it before, but I hate the media so much.  It's absolutely overkill most of the time and it makes the world seem full of vitriol. I understand that bad things happen, but when you hear about it constantly how can you not be a little depressed? Matters get overanalyzed to the point where people are afraid to live at times.  Obviously, the media plays an integral role in keeping us knowledgeable, but it's just too much for me at times.

It's not the only factor, but a big core to this problem is bullying.  It's a difficult situation we're trying to grasp better today as a society.  It's a truly dicey and touchy topic.  On one hand, we see a sweeping movement to stop bullying, which is great. No one deserves to be bullied--there's no need to bring someone down to build yourself up.  On the other hand, we live in a society that overcompensates for this type of treatment and creates thin-skinned individuals, which leads to our pampered and entitled generation.  It's well known that rookies get hazed.  Should it be so intense that it causes people to become depressed? Probably not.  Should people get depressed if someone puts them down occasionally? Probably not.  It's a tight rope for me as someone who has experience in this area, but I think the fact that the term "bullying" is being used, it takes it to a new level.  We definitely have more work to do to resolve some of these issues.  Personally, I'm guessing the NFL will crack down on these hazing rituals to protect what's most important to them, their pockets.  I foresee many lawsuits arising if they don't.

N***************
What's also super troubling, to me, is Incoginto's use of the n.  Side note, Louis CK did a bit noting how when people say "the n-word" they're just putting the actual word in someone else's head, which I found interesting. Anywho...

There has been a lot of news, a lot of questions, a lot of opinions, and a lot of articles recently revolving said word.  As you may or may not know, Terry Foster wrote a piece not too long ago about how Tony Scheffler (a now former Lion and white individual) used the word somewhat freely with teammate Louis Delmas.  Many non-African Americans are questioning why they can't use it more freely as they argue it's become the norm in popular culture.  Well, here's one more opinion for you...

I'm going to try and keep this brief because I'm admittedly not an authority to talk about this subject but I do believe certain things should be noted.  What people do in their private time is theirs. As I stated above, privacy is at a minimum nowadays so people absolutely must be conscious and careful.  If people in the locker room of the NFL are cool with Incognito saying such words, as one teammate deemed his as a "non-racist and a honorary brother," that's their business.  But the second you record it on a voicemail or publicize it, you're overstepping boundaries.

I think people are becoming desensitized to the word and forgetting it's roots--slavery.  Following that thought, people are forgetting to contextualize the distinct fact that the ending has been changed in use from er to a.  It's not cool for me to say that word; it's not cool for Richie Incognito to use that outside of private conversations (that his peers deem okay). Period.

I read an article, I believe it was from NY Times, about the new movie 12 Years a Slave. The author stated that it was the first movie he could remember in some time that didn't glorify and desensitize slavery, but instead it painted it in a mortifying, truthful picture.  Basically what I'm getting at is sort of like how many songs like "Wade in the Water" were used to turn something negative into something positive (forcing religion on slaves turned into cryptic messages for escape), n was turned into something that wasn't in the white slave masters' control.  People need to stop the petty crap and let it go.

We are trying to simply a complex issue.

At the end of the day, this situation between Martin and Incognito is and will remain a mess.  It digs up many ugly skeletons we have been trying to keep in our closets.  How it's dealt with could shape how future situations are handled. For now we must wait and see.

Love is Blindness and We're Trying to See

Last I checked, the current season is fall.  Now I could be mistaken, but judging by my Facebook feed, it's currently the season of love too.  Within the last week alone I've seen multiple articles talking about love or marriage--one saying marriage isn't for you, one was a priest's rebuttal (which I currently can't find), and another was about the girls guys should go after.

The articles I've seen have created a lot of buzz, sharing, and commenting. People genuinely think these articles hold the answers (or at least tangible answers). What's been most interesting to me is how young these knowledge-droppers are.  It's amazing the knowledge they've amassed in such a little time. From their years of experience, they have qualitative knowledge to bequeath to the mass.  Sarcasm aside, the mass is listening.

Maybe the fact the this younger generation blogs more frequently sends these articles viral, but it seems to me we are desperate for a youthful voice to show us the way.  We want to know that life is going to turn out alright and our fears can be calmed.  I find it slightly ironic, though, that this particular guy has been acclaimed for his insight yet his insight was discovered via his father. Anywho...

For me, the information spread has been fascinating, but obvious.  Almost too obvious.  We are looking for a utopia that simply doesn't exist. We want to find that unlocks the impenetrable gate.  It's this innate desire that keeps us striving towards a dream yet slows our reality--we want perfection.  It's like we're on a journey to quench our insatiable thirst for the end all be all answer.

Life hasn't, doesn't, and will never work like that. What works for one couple isn't guaranteed to work on another.  A "HEY THIS HERE IS HOW TO ABSOLUTELY HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE" guide doesn't exist.  Theoretically, yes, I'm sure a perfect formula may exist, but theory and practicality are two very separate existences.  People consume droves of self-help books daily; people mindlessly follow leaders who claim to hold the solutions to their everyday struggles; people endlessly hope that the next solution will be the medicine that cures their disease (metaphorically).  Note the surplus of quantity and disregard for true quality.

Reality check: If such a thing existed, we wouldn't have so many answers percolating and so many uncertainties remaining.  If said solutions existed, they'd be going viral by now.  Each person's snowflake existence makes him or her impervious to ubiquity. It's romantic and fantastic to believe someone has it right, but it's equally foolish to live under the pretense that his or her footsteps have marked your path.

Maybe the concept of marriage can be simplified to the notion of bettering your partner, or maybe even centering yourself around God; however, as I've said before, how can you make such a matter of fact claim when so much variety and mercuriality exists in the practice of marriage or life in general for that matter?  How can we say, other than stemming from our subjective pride, that our practice is the right practice? How can we preach to our peers when we've so many failures of our own? But, then again, how can I opine in this blog and then expect you to consider my words when I'm trying to disprove others' preachiness? There in lies the question that keeps life so interesting: What should I believe?

I'm such an enigmatic person.  I find myself to be so cynical at times while simultaneously searching for  optimistic conclusions.  I guess, in this case, I'm just warning that though our peers or elders might have great stories, they aren't the stars of our plot.

I believe, momentarily, that we are puzzle pieces looking to find the piece that fits. Not every piece will fit with us, but more than one connecting piece exists--it's our journey to find the piece the fits best, which will allow us to continue solving the puzzle.

I'm still searching.

Reaction: Chivalry, Women, Excuse Me?

Late last week, I saw a shared link on the magical and mystical Facebook.  It's always interesting to see what people post or share--partially to get an insight into what others read and partially to see what's out there.  As we all know, the Internet is a vast and seemingly unlimited resource; so, sometimes you need other people to help you find worthy sites.  Before I digress too much,  I'll like to react to the shared link.

The article, an opinion piece, is posted on a side called Elite Daily.  The article is called, "Why Chivalry is Dead, From a Man's Perspective." I strongly encourage you to read the article as it will give you a better perspective of where I'm coming from.  It's a relatively short piece but I don't intend of summarizing it line by line. Instead, I'll summarize a few notions thrown out and go from there.  

First, I find it telling that the third comment posted about the article reads:

Article in a nutshell: "Man, I'm just trying to be a nice guy, but women these days are too busy being whores to appreciate me. Chivalry is dead!" Wait, wut?

A comment like that is disconcerting for an article; just an observation.  Summary of general main points: we live in a hookup culture and thus dating is done, people would be surprised what you could learn from others by going on actual dates and not just looking to bang, men aren't treating women the way they are supposed to be treated, we don't know how to communicate, girls only get with jerks, women are complacent, eventually women will wise up and ask for what they deserve, the author still enjoys meaningless sex but comes back to his core values.

I deep down think the author's intentions are innately good. I do, in fact, think he means well and is trying to grasp the day and age we live in while sticking to traditional values.  The problem is, though, he's just too off base for me.

I agree that communication is lacking in our world and we live in a hook up culture.  It is really hard to deny these points when they are staring us in the face on a daily basis--especially as a single individual. While dating isn't totally done, it seems more and more people are looking for a hookup as a means to facilitate a relationship rather than courting (besides internet "dating").  Also, communication is totally messed up with the droves of technology communicating for us today.  That's all fine and dandy.

He begins to lose me when he talks about women's complacency and how they merely get with jerks. Admittedly, I used to think that women just got with jerks; I guess part of me still does to some extent.  I think, rationally speaking, that's a really ignorant and naive stance, though.  For one, you can't justify grouping all women generically.  Secondly, I'd like to think that not all guys dating women are jerks.  Third, it feels like a copout to make such a claim.  I once heard an explanation that really stuck out to me about this "issue" from a woman's perspective.  Jerks are more confident in who they are and display that confidence; confidence is sexy.  Ergo, jerks are sexy.  Moreover, "good guys" often carry the stigma that they can't get with women because they aren't jerks and thus are lacking in confidence from the get go.  Many flaws exist within women only date jerks, but that's a subject for a different time.  The complacency is an issue that I'll couple with my biggest issue below.

He really loses me, and I think he loses sight of today's world, when he says that he believes women will wise up.  It seems to me that the complacency and the predicted "wising up" go hand in hand.  Again, I think this guy has good intentions at heart; I just don't think he thought this article through.  By calling women complacent and suggesting they need to wise up, the author is clearly ignoring feminism. DONE DONE DONE! Some people out there may not be overly familiar with feminism while others may not be for it in general.  I don't want to sit here and lecture anyone about the movement or debate it. The fact that this author and others need to realize is this: we aren't living in the same age as our mothers and grandmothers.  While we still have work to do, real progress towards equality is being made.  We don't live in an age where women are strictly housewives; we don't live in an age where women are strictly under educated; we don't live in an age where women are strictly powerless. I question if the author has ever thought that maybe women don't necessarily want what they "deserve." As a "man," I'd question if he considers it complacency for a man to let a woman pay for his dinner.

Chivalry isn't dead, it's adapting (or at least it should be).  As the time shifts so too must our definition.  I'll be honest, I'm someone who looks to pay for dinner, wants to buy flowers, hold doors, etc.  I'm not someone, though, who wants to force it down someone's throat to so they get what they deserve.  It boggles my mind to think that people still believe you HAVE to pay for dinner as a man--I'd venture to say some of these complacent women may carry the same confusion.  Dude, it's okay for a girl to take you out; it's okay for a girl to hold the door for you; it's okay to have her send you a gift (maybe not flowers!).  It's okay for there to be a certain give and take--an equality--between the partnership.

I couldn't help but laugh when the author's second to last paragraph concluded by mentioning (not long after saying booty calls were cool with him):

I’m not looking for a girlfriend, nor am I looking for a wife. If I take you out to a nice dinner, it’s because I’m a nice guy, and I am looking forward to spending time with you somewhere other than the bedroom.

He talks about the loss of chivalry and this trueness of relationships, but doesn't even want a relationship himself.  It's a little sketchy to me and seems to poke holes in his article's logical flow.  Do guys take their friends out to nice dinners just to spend time with them?

I know my arguments and rebuttals aren't as drawn out and matured as they could be, but I hope my message is simple.  It's cool to want to treat women nicely, but I think we need to understand, truly understand, where we stand today. I just feel like there is a better way to rejuvenate chivalry without having women wise up.

 

Best Practices: Acknowledging Failure

Of the various tasks I accomplish at work, one is sending a daily email that briefly sums up some positive, useful news that's easily consumable to the majority of folks in my building and some others around the country.  One item we encourage others to share is best practices--these practices could be useable for sales, meetings, projects, etc.  The point being: if you have something that works, share it.

When I joined my current team, they had been sending out a tri-weekly newsletter passing on somewhat similar information to the same people.  The problem was that they found nobody really read it.  Consistent with our fast paced, short attention span society, people simply didn't want to take the time to read the newsletter.  Initially, it my task was to carry on this newsletter's production; however, before my first week ended that task was nixed.  This decision to discontinue the struggling newsletter brought forth two very important results.  First, the birth of our email, which has been cherished and read by nearly all of the recipients (we constantly get very positive feedback).  Second, and arguably more important, the best practice of acknowledging failure and moving on materialized as well.  We decided it should be a mantra of our team: Don't be afraid to acknowledge that something isn't working.  As my boss has said, sometimes stopping something is just as important as starting something.

I propose that this "best practice" should be utilized both in work and in life.  Too many times, we lost sight of what's not working.  We might be always look for ways to improve ourselves--mainly through additions.  We want to learn a language, take a class, exercise more, etc.  Problematically, we too often neglect the dead weight we're carrying around.  If we could learn to rid ourselves of this dead weight, think of the possibilities!

I think the most obvious reason we choose to be oblivious when recognizing our failures is pride.  We are so caught up with maintaining as certain sense of pride, we can lose sight of what's right in front of us.  Problematically, we tend to carry a heavily negative connotation with failure.  Obviously, we shouldn't be striving for failure, but it'd be foolish to think failure can be evaded.  Thus, it'd be advantageous for us, rather, to pick out our own failure and move on.  If we can pick out failures then we can improve as people.  It's not a matter of simply saying, "Okay, I've failed," and moving on.  No, that leads to nothing positive (instead you'll keep repeating the same mistakes).  To truly allow a positive manifestation to arise out of our failures we must learn and move on.  Then, instead of constantly failing we improve on mistakes and get better.

Dealing with failure can be tricky.  If you ignore it, it will continue to drag you down knowingly or unknowingly; on the other hand, if you do admit it and use it as an excuse, or blindly move on, it will equally drag you down.  The type of adaptation and attention needed to utilize failure in our favor is what has kept progress going.  I truly believe successful people have mastered (mostly) this concept.

At the end of the day, life isn't going to work out the way we hope.  Our decisions aren't always going to strike gold.  We aren't going to be the best we can be.  It's the volatility of life.  In our relationships, our work ethic, our education, our careers, etc we are bound to fail.  Will you allow that to weigh you down to incorrigible depths or will you cut it off to ensure perpetual buoyancy? It's a best practice worth sharing.

Robert 

Nature, Nurture, and a Third Party

I continually try to be provocative with my posts as I continue to cover a variety of different topics.  I want people to think, question, ask, etc.  It must be the Jesuit education I've received for eight years though I seemed to have always been one to question.  I'm going to continue to ask for your opinion as I write these posts.  I know people are reading these (I see the views).  This blog is a sounding board with the intent of inspiring.  As I've repeatedly said, I have many thoughts that inhabit my mind.  Some of these thoughts are right (depending how you define right) while others aren't so right.  Anywho...

I'd like to bring up something that has been bugging me for quite some time.  To be honest,  I originally planned on writing about this topic for my second or third post way back when. I've finally decided to throw it out there.  Following the trend of my recent posts, I'm going to try and keep this thought relatively brief and concise.  I will try to avoid verbosity as I want to make the point, offer some insight, and then ask you to think.

Nature vs. Nature

I'm not sure about you, but I know especially since high school the nature/nurture debate has been brought up a ton, especially in classes.  For a long time, it seems, people have been debating whether one plays a larger role in the growth of an individual than the other.  Many arguments have been made, many theories have percolated, and much progress has been made.  I think it's relatively safe to say that generally speaking people today mostly agree that it's a pretty even contribution.  As with many things, we don't have a quantifiable test to determine the true value, but through observations it seems pretty evident both nature and nurture play a role in shaping an individual.  It's hard to argue one really plays a  more pertinent role than the other; however, I think on individual bases one could argue for nature over nurture or vice versa.

That's all fine and dandy, and I'm glad we can generally agree especially since we can't seem to agree on much these days.  I'd like to offer a third player in the shaping of a person.  Maybe not so much the shaping, but the trajectory of an individual's life.  What compiles their being, if you will.  When considering an individual and what happens in his or her life, I posit free will must be taken into consideration.  Free will might not be the best diction--maybe I'm think more about will, determination, etc.  I'm going to stick with free will, though, until I can think of something better or you can give me something better (see what I just did there?). 

So...

This addition to the equation is somewhat tricky.  Free will/will/determination sounds like something that would fall into the category of nature as it is stems from (presumable) our biological makeup rather than our surroundings.  True, very true.  I'd like you to keep an open mind though and view it as a separate entity.  

Two examples:

My brother, sister, and myself have the same parents and grew up facing similar circumstances.  Yet, our paths are all different.  We are all driven by different things; we all have our own ambitions.  Some things my siblings do make me scratch my head as I'm sure they feel the same way about me.  We have (basically) the same genetic makeup and nurture.  You could argue that our difference in drive/personality (I supposed) comes from slight alterations in genetics.  That could very well be true, but I just don't buy it.  We each exhibit personality traits similar to our parents and at the same time we exhibit non-similar traits as well.

I also can't help but consider this free will when considering really successful people who came from nothing or those who come from everything and end up with nothing.  It's hard to argue against the power of will when consider someone who is born into a family with a history of poverty and comes out on top. Numerous examples exist but look at someone like Jay Z.  I don't care what you think of the guy's art, he made himself into something purely by willing it and now he runs so much.  It's incredible.  Conversely, there are innumerable celebrity or even non-celebrity kids who come are born into great situations yet fail to do anything with their lives.  Yes, just because you have a crappy home life or rich parents won't dictate your childhood to be one way or another.  I'm just saying it's hard to deny these scenarios and their outcomes when there are equally as many that follow the suit you'd suspect.

To wrap this post up shortly, I guess I'm just saying we are all faced with multiple forks in the roads in our lives.  I feel like our nature/nurture gives us the tools but it's up to us to choose the road.  If you are determined to undermine your circumstances, I really think you can (positively or negatively).  I just feel at some point we ought to take more responsibility of our actions and our beings, and make more conscious decisions or accept them at face value.  Will you find the determination to make your life how you want?

The Powerfully Poisonous Image and Why We Must Overcome it

I'm going to keep this post relatively brief as I want it to be less space filling and more thought provoking.  Plus, I really need to get a post out since it's been too long in gaps, but that is another story (making excuses that I've been too busy transitioning).  More on that will come.

Today, more specifically now, I can't help but think about the notion of image and how heavy its implications can weigh on us.

We live in a world where image seems to be everything and we make it that way, which impeded our abilities to act innately.  Not everyone is worried about how their image is portrayed, yes there are always outliers, but much of our lives are micromanaged because of image. To clarify, I don't want you to think I'm trying to say you shouldn't care about your image; conversely, I'm same we should care about our image in a more concentrated and productive manner.  A couple examples to consider:

Drake, an actor turned musician, seems to be quite the polarizing artist.  On one hand, people like the emotional and real life quality he brings to his music.  On the other hand, he's too soft and emotion; some people see him as a weak individual and unworthy of musical accolades.  Since he falls under the rap/hip-hop category, he's proscribed an image of "gangster" or "hood" that he's supposed to adhere to, but he doesn't.  We tend to get so caught up in an artist's image and who they are supposed to be that we loose sight of the artist.

In a similar vain of artists and images, one can't help but think about Miley Cyrus.  She's an example of someone so desperate to break her image that she's going to extremes to create a new one.  I get the sneaking suspicion this new image isn't necessarily the image she wants deep down, but instead the one she thinks can be most beneficial to her short term in achieving certain goals.

An example that leaves me despondent:
Today, news broke about a 16 year old boy in Chicago who was murdered because he refused to join a gang.  The gang members tried to project their image on him and when he rejected their ideals they projected and protected their image by taking his away, permanently.  What's saddening about this story is that it isn't isolated.  Too many young people, in general, are getting murdered/killed because their image doesn't fit the liking of a certain group.

Countless war veterans either ignore or are ignored for their mental illness suffered from trauma post active duty.  They're so worried of maintaing an image of strength and honor, the fact that mental illness is real and dangerous (now matter how strong you claim to be) gets lost.  Sadly, because this image gets protected and deeper problems get neglected, tragedy strikes on both small and large scales.

As people of religion, we often project our images of what is supposedly ideal (which is another topic entirely).  When outsiders don't fit these images, we are quick to reject and condemn them.  Unfortunately and confusingly, trying to project and condemn images due to religion kind of goes against its core.  Treat others how you want to be treated; love your neighbor.  Instead, we preach religion but spread hate when the image isn't right.

Men have to be strong; women must be week.  When the converse image is displayed, there's obviously something wrong with that individual for they just don't fit.  Strong women are bitches; weak mean are girls.

The examples are plentiful, but I trust you get the point.

We get so tangled up in images and what image we should project that we lose insight and the sense of our humanity, who we are.  Instead of making the world a better place, we find it easier to crush it because it doesn't fit the image that we perceive to be true.  We preach love and say we want happiness, but project hate onto others.  Until we can accept the fact that people like what they like and let go that not everyone will fit the mold our minds create, we won't ever live in harmony.  I strongly urge everyone, myself included, to stop worrying about fitting into and image and just be you.  On that note, let others be them and love them for it.  After all, we're all an image of God, aren't we? I'd at least like to think that. I hope you take this thought into consideration. --Robert